IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries, the age of the criminal is getting lower. Give the reasons for and solutions to the problem. Support your position with relevant examples.

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In the modern era, the
age
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 of criminal records has been reduced in various
countries
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. The main reasons are the criminal
laws
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 are updated, and the
government
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 has updated some restrictions. In
this
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essay
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essay,
show examples
 we will discuss the points mentioned.
To begin
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 with, the
age
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 of the criminal is getting lower
due to
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 the
laws
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 are strictly prohibited in various
countries
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.
For example
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, in UAE the Gulf
countries
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 and Russia have proper
laws
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 and they should be followed by the
government
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 and the people.
However
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, the restrictions are followed by the people or
government
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, there is
also
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 an advantage for the criminal to overcome from the negative records that are made by the
government
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 like providing education, housing, good work and individual needs, everything has done by the
government
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 so that’s the major reason the
age
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 of the criminal is getting low
On the other hand
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, the
government
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 has strictly followed the rules and regulations but not all the
countries
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.
For instance
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, in some of the Europe
countries
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, the punishments are not strict for the criminal. Especially, criminals, have more advantage to set free from the loop pole of the criminal record count,
this
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 should not be encouraged and to be punished by the
government
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.
Moreover
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, people want to live happily with a peaceful mind and
also
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 the
age
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 of the criminal count must be closed permanently.
To conclude
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, the
age
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 of criminals is getting low because of having strict rules and regulations followed by some of the country like UAE and Russia but these
laws
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 are not followed by all
countries
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 so these rules should be encouraged in all
countries
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then
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 only criminal counts will be reduced

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples and data to support your points. References to specific laws or statistics could strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on clarifying and organizing your main points further. Ensure each paragraph clearly communicates one idea.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, which effectively frame your arguments.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing reasons and potential solutions for the issue of younger age in crime offenders.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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