Many students like to get involved in extra- curricular activities at university such as social clubs and sports. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Studying in university not only has main subjects but
also
has many extra alternative activities,
such
as sports, and social clubs, that students can select as another special interest. Many students are likely to be fascinated by those fields. Personally,
this
essay will describe that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks in some described instances.
To begin
with, university students probably have a few quota of extracurricular classes,which may be totally irrelevant to main courses.
Firstly
,the main advantage of
this
educational opportunity is to explore new experiences outside the theoretical classroom. To exemplify
this
statement, when I was a freshman in an educational institution. My major actually was economics which mainly required to study of monetary and economic history.
Nevertheless
, I selected a Spanish class for speaking for a semester because I would like to learn a third language as my recreation time.
Second,
another potential strength of
this
aspect is
then
meeting new peers with a variety of backgrounds from other faculty.
For instance
,I met a new friend,who was interested in a third language like me, the faculty of science in the Spanish class.
Moreover
, obtaining a great result from
this
participation may lead to a higher GPA (grade point average)
at the end
of the semester,which is another benefit of
this
perspective.
On the contrary
, joining an extracurricular class might simply distract them from the main subjects.
For example
, individuals who register for a sports club for joining twice a week possibly pay attention to those clubs rather than studying at their faculty because of addiction to their favourite sports.
To conclude
, I personally think that learning an interesting subject excluding the relevant probably enables the expansion of experienced scope,which could encourage some practical skills in a positive way.
Submitted by phanphetpor on

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Language Development
Consider using a wider variety of sentence structures to add complexity and interest to your writing.
Precision in Language
Pay attention to the precision of language to avoid vague expressions. For example, rather than saying 'probably enables the expansion of experienced scope,' consider specifying exactly how it expands experiences or skills.
Balanced Argumentation
When discussing advantages and disadvantages, ensure to equally balance both sides or clearly justify why one side outweighs the other, supporting your argument with solid examples and clear reasoning.
Introduction
Your introduction provides a clear overview of the topic and sets the direction of the essay effectively.
Use of Examples
You provided specific examples from personal experience, which helped to illustrate your points and make your arguments more relatable.
Organization
Good job maintaining a logical flow with clear paragraphing, each dedicated to a specific point.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • interpersonal skills
  • teamwork
  • networking
  • time management
  • physical fitness
  • stress reduction
  • commitment
  • diverse interests
  • distraction
  • academic performance
  • overcommitment
  • burnout
  • financial strain
  • exclusivity
  • discrimination
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