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Band 6

To what extent do you agree with the following statement? Anything that is good for you can also be bad for you if you do it too much

According to
 the text, and the indicated in the question, it is possible to analyze it from
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 philosophical perspective,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is why it is necessary to say that everything could be bad if too much is done,
this
 essay agrees with the thesis that balance is the key for the good development of what you want to do, many things in excess are bad, but it could depend on the context
that is
 analyzed,
such
 as the contrast of
freedom
 or health, but what happens if I only see my
freedom
 and not that of other people? In
this
 context,
freedom
 without measure is truly bad, since it does not contemplate the needs of others, for what could be cited, one of the best lines I remember,
and
Correct word choice
apply
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comes from Jean-Paul Sartre,
and
Correct word choice
who
show examples
 says "
my
Capitalize word
My
show examples
freedom
 ends when the
freedom
 of another begins ", but to what extent are people aware of that statement? For several years we have had an incredible discussion of
freedom
, rights; in which the majority of society has only focused on my
freedom
 and my rights, without thinking about the responsibilities that we have as citizens, fathers, or human beings, responsibilities that could be necessary for the good performance of future generations since if we do not set the example, others will not want to follow us. We must think that if we continue to live alone in our bubble we will not be able to evolve, we must begin to see everyone as part of our family, and begin to carry small or large actions on a day-to-day basis for others, in conclusion, we could indicate that everything without limits or restrictions can have a lot of damage in the long term, especially
freedom
 without measure.
Submitted by erickr.arias on

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task response
Ensure that the essay directly addresses the prompt and fully explores the topic of the effects of excess in various aspects. Provide a balanced argument with a clear stance on the statement given in the prompt.
coherence and cohesion
Maintain a clear and cohesive structure throughout the essay, with well-developed introduction and conclusion paragraphs that summarize the main points. Use transitions effectively to connect ideas and improve the flow of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • bilingual
  • multilingual
  • fluency
  • communicate
  • cognitive skills
  • cultural awareness
  • opportunities
  • globalized world
  • job market
  • interact
  • linguistic abilities
  • cultural exchange
  • language proficiency
  • language barrier
  • foreign travel
  • personal growth
  • academic achievement
  • self-confidence
  • enhance
  • cross-cultural communication
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