IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

You live in an English speaking country and you want to do some voluntary, unpaid work in a developing country. Write a letter to a company called Cultural Expeditions, which organizes such trips. In your letter: Explain why you want to do the voluntary work. State what your skills and experience are. Indicate where you would like to volunteer and for how long.

Dear Ms Pasquale, My name is Deepa G Nair, and I am a final-year student majoring in Hospital Services. I recently learned that you offer opportunities for students interested in voluntary work, and I am writing to express my interest in participating in
this
Linking Words
 program. My college will have a two-month summer break from 13 May to 12 July, and during
this
Linking Words
period
Punctuation problem
period,
show examples
 I would be grateful for the opportunity to provide voluntary services in Nigeria related to my field of study. As part of my academic curriculum, I have already gained practical experience through hospital duties and training.
Therefore
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, I believe I would be able to assist with a variety of responsibilities, particularly in neonatal care. I am eager to gain
further
Linking Words
 practical experience, which will be extremely valuable for my future career.
In addition
Linking Words
, I would be happy to contribute my time and skills even if the voluntary work is unpaid. I would greatly appreciate it if you could consider my request, and I look forward to hearing from you. Yours sincerely, Deepa G Nair

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task response
Say more clear why you want to help people, not only to get work practice.
task response
Add one or two more details about your skills, so your help looks more useful.
task response
Write the time in a more direct way, like 'for two months from 13 May to 12 July.'
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words like 'also' or 'because' to make ideas join more smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
The line about unpaid work can go with your reason paragraph, so the flow is better.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph is clear, but one paragraph has two ideas, so you can split them.
task response
You answer all parts of the task: why, skills, place, and time.
task response
Your tone is polite and right for a formal letter.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a clear start, body, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Greeting and closing are used well.
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