Some people think that sports are important for personal development, while others believe that they are just a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #sports #development #leisure #activity

According to

some masses,

sports

is necessary for our mental and physical development

however

, others argue that it is just outdoor

activity

. I personally believe that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

sports

are essential to nurturing someone's personal abilities

as well as

the physical and mental ones. To start with,

sports

are no longer only recreational or leisure activities rather they contributed to the development of a

person

. It has several positive impacts on the mind and body of the

person

for example

, it improves health and brain

activity

and general well-being, it refreshes the mind and wipes away everyday stress.

However

, those who are not engaging in

sports

activity

they can easily experience their differences.

Additionally

sports

can help to grow personal relationships with others, enhances communication skills and share responsibilities, and care for others. A recent study based at Yale University illustrates that

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those

sports

activity

is not merely outdoor

activity

rather it is an essential part of

people

's well-being.

Conversely

sports

activity

requires mention because it increases the physical movement of the

person

. It can give

people

the chance to do outdoor activities after a hectic day.

Moreover

sports

can only provide opportunities for amusement and pleasure.

Although

people

are much inclined to social media nowadays they cannot have the same refreshment that

sports

provide.

Therefore

instead

of depending on the

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

screen

Add an article

the screen

show examples

they can easily involved in

sports

activities in their spare time. That would help them to grow as a social

person

as well as

better human beings.

To conclude

sports

activity

is much needed for the survival of the human being. As it is related to

people

's well-being, acknowledging

sports

as important is required and essential.

Submitted by rahman_rehana on Tue Mar 21 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that sports are important for personal development, while others believe that they are just a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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