Some people think that children should only read academic book. Others believe that reading books for pleasure is equally important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

These days,
children
are
enouraged
Correct your spelling
encouraged
to read
books
to enhance their language proficiency and expand their horizons. I believe that
children
's selection of reading material should not be limited to merely academic
books
. In fact, enjoying
books
for pleasure is even more important. To start with,
although
academic readers offer abundant knowledge,
books
outside the curriculum
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
even more important as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
show examples
toddlers a place to enter a limitless imagination world. Academic
books
,
such
as textbooks or
encyclopedia
Fix the agreement mistake
encyclopedias
show examples
, undoubtedly
contains
Correct subject-verb agreement
contain
show examples
rich knowledge that could improve
children
's academic performance.
However
,
children
are creative and wonderous. Novels and storybooks like Harry Potter and Peter Pan
opens
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open
show examples
a
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an
show examples
imaginative world for them to be immersed in a fantasy land. Poetry
also
helps
children
to express their feelings freely and understand human emotions.
Furthermore
, confining
children
to consume academic
books
only contributes to
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
learning attitude. To some
children
, academic
books
without colourful illustrations or compelling storylines could be tedious. If they are forced to only read these
books
, they might begin to be reluctant towards reading. To mould
children
to be active lifelong learners, cultivating a positive and healthy learning attitude is crucial. Reading
books
for pleasure is
therefore
more important than reading academic
books
as it helps
children
develop a curious mind to know more about the world. In conclusion, non-academic
books
not only boost
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
imagination
,
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apply
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but
also
foster
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthy reading
habit
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habits
show examples
. Meanwhile, academic
books
offers
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offer
show examples
rich knowledge.
Children
should be allowed to enjoy both categories as they are both beneficial to their long-term development.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure a smooth and logical flow of ideas from one paragraph to another. Use linking phrases such as 'Furthermore' and 'In conclusion' to maintain cohesion.
Task Achievement
Provide a balanced discussion of both views before stating your opinion. You've done a great job discussing the importance of both academic and pleasure reading for children.
Task Achievement
For an even higher score, consider providing more diversified examples to support your points, and ensure to directly address the prompt in your conclusion for clarity.
Introduction & Opinion
Clear introduction of topic and expression of opinion.
Supporting Examples
Good use of examples to support arguments, such as mentioning 'Harry Potter' and 'Peter Pan'.
Logical Structure
Logical structure with paragraphs well-organized around central ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic books
  • reading for pleasure
  • structured reading
  • discipline
  • focus
  • imagination
  • creativity
  • emotional intelligence
  • empathy
  • well-rounded education
  • language skills
  • lifelong learning
  • balanced approach
  • child’s development
  • stimulate
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