In countries that have already achieved affluence, any additional wealth would not make people happier. Do you agree or disagree?

this

high-developed world, most sectors of society have enough money to maintain their basic daily life and do extra consumption as well.

In addition

, some argue that additional wealth cannot bring happier for

people

However

, I have some different opinions. Nowadays, almost every individual has a skill or job and can earn the income to cover daily life as long as pay the effort. As the result,

people

start pursuing higher goals that can make them happier. Based on the needs theory, when

people

satisfy their survival conditions the needs related to mental health will come up. More and more

people

seek

Change preposition

apply

show examples

healthier mental

such

as work-life balance, job achievement, and a better lifestyle. Some

people

also

have a strong craving for love, they want to find someone who can live together for the rest of life.

However

, from another angle, we are living in a high-cost society in general and individuals could spend more compared to the past. We got a number of burdens on our shoulders,

for example

, the stress of buying a house, raising children, and

also

having to face unlimited urges from ourselves. Those reasons force us to

chasing

Change the verb form

chase

show examples

the better financial condition that we might have to work for a long time or attempt to get a greater salary or job position. In conclusion, I strongly agree that we already earn enough affluence that feeling extra happiness

become

Correct subject-verb agreement

becomes

show examples

more and more difficult. But in some way, humans have unlimited urges that can be satisfied by money.

Submitted by sw15923 on Tue Mar 21 2023

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In countries that have already achieved affluence, any additional wealth would not make people happier. Do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Nations should spend more money on skills and vocational training for practical work, rather than on university education. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experiences.

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

International tourism has brought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages?

Some people think learning painting and drawing at school is a waste of time while others think it is important. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects, other people think that, in today's world, subjects like science and technology are more important than History.