IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?

#future #people #holiday #country #travel
It is sometimes thought that more individuals will plan to go on vacation in their own
country
 compared to
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
 to another
country
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the future. In my opinion, I agree that a number of folks will enjoy the beauty of their own
country
 and learn more about their cultures. One of the reasons why
people
 select to go on holiday in their own
country
 is that it provides them
a
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
sense of security and respect compared to
other
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
country
.
In other words
,
people
 from another state will take care
you
Change preposition
of you
show examples
 like a family and give you a sense of protection
while
 you are visiting
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their state.
For instance
,
personally
Add a comma
,personally
show examples
 I believe, communities from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Kashmir will take care of me like
Add an article
a brother
show examples
brother
Fix the agreement mistake
brothers
show examples
, and they always behave like as
they
Correct word choice
if they
show examples
are safeguard
Change the verb form
are safeguarded
show examples
 for me.
Additionally
,
people
 who want to enjoy more in less time should prefer to go on vacation in their near famous places.
For example
,
working
Add an article
the working
a working
show examples
 couple will enjoy a lot of small journeys rather than enjoy one big abroad trip.
Moreover
, the government
also
establish
Change the form of the verb
established
show examples
 a lot of places around the
country
 so that
people
 can visit
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 and enjoy their small trips. To illustrate
this
,
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 Indian government made small religious places in the
country
 and made it more enjoyable by putting shops, hotels and restaurants. Another obvious reason is that the local travels give some discounts on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
particular trips.
Furthermore
, they
also
 provide
a good hotels
Correct the article-noun agreement
good hotels
a good hotel
show examples
 and
a delicious food
Remove the article
delicious food
a portion of delicious food
show examples
 during the journey.
As a result
, local
people
 feel it
very
Add a missing verb
is very
show examples
 helpful and very friendly during the journey. In conclusion,
people
 will be going on vacation in their own
country
 rather than going to another
country
 in the foreseeable future. I believe that
people
 will get a sense of security and know about our history and culture better.
Submitted by writing7 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • domestic tourism
  • international travel
  • cultural exchange
  • national pride
  • affordability
  • convenience
  • ecotourism
  • heritage sites
  • local businesses
  • comfort zone
What to do next:
Look at other essays: