Some people believe that technology has made man more social. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Experts throughout both the developing and developed world have debated whether the advent of sophisticated modern technology
such
as mobile phones, laptops and iPads has helped to enhance and improve people
's social lives or whether the opposite has become the case.
Personally, I strongly advocate the former view. This
essay will discuss both sides using examples from the UK government and Oxford University to demonstrate points and prove arguments.
On the one hand, there is ample, powerful, almost daily evidence that such
technology can be detrimental, especially to the younger generation who are more easily affected by its addictive nature which can result in people
feeling more isolated from society.
The central reason behind this
is twofold, firstly
, the invention of online social media sites and apps, like Twitter and Facebook has reduced crucial face-to-face interactions dramatically. Through the use of these appealing and attractive mediums, people
feel in touch and connected yet lack key social skills and the ability to communicate.
Secondly
, dependence on such
devices is built up frighteningly easily which may have a damaging effect on mental health and encourage a sedentary lifestyle. For example
, recent scientific research by the UK government demonstrated that 90% of people
in their 30s spend over 20 hours per week on Messenger and similar applications to chat with their friends instead
of meeting up and spending quality time together or doing sports. As a result
, it is conclusively clear that these technological advancements have decreased and diminished our real-life interactions.
On the other hand
, although
there are significant downsides to technological developments, its’ multifold advantages cannot be denied. This
is largely because of the popularity of technology such
as cell phones, which allows people
to connect freely and easily with no geographical barriers.
People
are able to share any type of news, information, photos and opinions with their loved ones whenever and wherever they want therefore
keeping a feeling of proximity and closeness. For instance
, an extensive study by Oxford University illustrated that people
who work, or study abroad and use applications like Facetime and WhatsApp to chat with their families, are less likely to experience loneliness and feel out of the loop than those who do not.
Consistent with this
line of thinking is that businessmen are also
undoubtedly able to benefit from these advances by holding virtual real-time meetings using Skype which may increase the chance of closing business deals without the need to fly.
From the arguments and examples given I firmly believe that overall
communication and man’s sociability have advanced enormously due to
the huge technological progress of the past twenty years and despite some potentially serious health implications which governments should not fail to address, it is predicted that its popularity will continue to flourish in the future.Submitted by patelmeera on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay structures every point clearly and follows a logical sequence, but ensure to avoid redundancy for a smoother flow. For example, phrases like 'ample, powerful, almost daily evidence' can be shortened for clarity.
task achievement
To strengthen your arguments further, try to elaborate briefly on how the examples you give support your main points. This will enhance the persuasiveness and clarity of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets the context for the discussion and outlines the main opinion clearly, showcasing strong engagement with the essay topic.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion solidly encapsulates your stance and restates your main points, demonstrating excellent summarizing skills.
task achievement
You provide clear, comprehensive ideas that are well-expressed and argumentatively sound throughout the essay.
task achievement
The use of relevant and specific examples like studies from the UK government and Oxford University adds credibility and depth to your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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