2.Some people today feel that physical money will no longer be used in the future. Others feel it will still have some uses. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

#people #money #future

In the technology era, many individuals think that the usage of physical

money

will be replaced in the upcoming years.

While

others suppose that its role in

payment

remains unchanged. In

this

essay, I will discuss both views and draw my conclusion. It is of an opinion that using digital bills has become popular because it is safer and more convenient. It is undeniable that when using

this

payment

method,

people

can easily transfer

money

as well as

make payments for purchasing any products and the transaction is much faster than using

cash

Moreover

, with an ATM or digital wallet that are connected directly to a bank account,

people

are not necessary to bring too much

cash

which in turn enables us to avoid becoming a target of thief or robber.

In other words

, their safety is secured.

On the other hand

, there are numerous comments asserting the crucial role of physical

money

in daily life. It is argued that

cash

payment

is a traditional transaction which can be used by every

people

Fix the agreement mistake

person

show examples

regardless they are young or old, poor or rich. Especially,

this

payment

method is still preferred in areas where the internet and smartphones are not common.

Moreover

, there is an idea that using

cash

enables us to control our expenses which helps us to eliminate unnecessary spending and have a better plan for savings. In conclusion, using bank notes or digital

money

in transactions brings certain advantages to

people

. In my opinion, with the continuous development of new technology, the usage of digital currencies has become more and more popular,

however

, the role of physical

money

cannot be replaced completely.

Submitted by nguyenlyacbd on Tue Mar 21 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic and integrates the views on both sides effectively. Use transition words to connect ideas for better coherence.

task achievement

Your introduction and conclusion effectively address the question and provide a clear opinion. Ensure that your examples are relevant and well supported within the body paragraphs.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

273 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial security
safety net
unforeseen circumstances
emergencies
future investments
retirement planning
financial discipline
habit of saving
amassing wealth
substantial fund
opportunity cost
additional income
inflation
purchasing power

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