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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Space exploration costs taxpayers an exorbitant amount of money each year. What are the advantages and disadvantages of spending money on space exploration?

#space #exploration #costs #taxpayers #amount #money #year
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In the present age, governments spend an unlimited amount of
money
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 annually on
space
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 research.
Although
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 it will be a great investment for the development of communication, it will be a major cause of the economic breakdown in a country. The greatest benefit of investing
money
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 in
space
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 exploration is the growth of communication facilities. We all know if we want to contact someone who is miles away we just have to put a finger on a phone. Why was that? Because satellite technology helps to bring all countries together.
Moreover
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, many countries have used
space
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 satellites to build digital communication globally.
For example
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, now people can share messages, and watch
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
 channels even from the middle of the ocean or desert.
Such
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, positive facts, show the fund for
space
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 exploration is not a waste of
money
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. Even if, spending more and more
money
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 on universe identification would be a huge impact on the economic stability of a country. Finding Extraterrestrial life is not the only thing a government needs to do,
instead
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, they need to invest
money
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 in the health sector, education, agriculture and other industries to develop their export markets to be financially stable. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
instance, researching the production of eco-friendly fuel will be a great investment, and it will
also
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 benefit the environment. For these reasons, the government should fund more projects that help it to build up its economy. Investing in
space
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 exploration by governments is unlimited.
Moreover
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, it will be a main cause of the economic crisis
while
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 it may important for globalization.
This
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 essay discussed those benefits and drawbacks.
Submitted by hoshisajana1997 on

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Introduction and Conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be strengthened by providing a clearer thesis statement that directly addresses the advantages and disadvantages of spending money on space exploration.
Content Development
The main points are supported with examples and arguments, but some points could be further developed to strengthen the overall argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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