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Band 6.5

Most people nowadays like to have cosmetic surgery to improve their appearance. Do you think it is a positive or negative trend ?

#people #surgery #appearance #trend
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Nowadays, some
people
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 want to improve their outlook by having cosmetic
surgery
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, which can make their
appearance
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 looks better or more beautiful. In my opinion, it is a negative trend and I will give some reasons in
this
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 essay.
To begin
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 with,
although
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 focusing on our
appearance
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 could bring some bad influences
such
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 as
appearance
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 anxiety or prejudice, cosmetic
surgery
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 still has some advantages and help
people
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.
For instance
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, undergoing cosmetic
surgery
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 can help get rid of
such
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 scars and restore the body as it was before the accident.
Moreover
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cosmetic operation is one of the ways to cover imperfections, leaving humans feeling good about themselves and loving the new look.
Therefore
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,
people
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 achieve their desired look, which makes them more courageous and confident to face any trial, regardless of the situation.
On the other hand
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, cosmetic
surgery
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 costs a lot of money,
maybe
Correct your spelling
may be
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 pretty painful, and even have some addiction. In
this
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 generation, some
people
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 want to make their looks more attractive
due to
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 their fit in beauty standards. These
people
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 are pressured and influenced by what they see on social media and network advertisements, distorting
appearance
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 values. They are always unsatisfied about their look or into
appearance
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 panic in life. In
this
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 situation, cosmetic
surgery
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 will cause physical and mental harm, making more unconfidence by themselves. In conclusion,
while
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 cosmetic
surgery
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 has become more common and humans' want to have the
surgery
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 is increasing than before,
people
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 should not only use
this
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 way to change their
appearance
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 but
also
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 need to learn to accept their imperfections.
Submitted by Mos on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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