Some health problems are directly linked to people's life choices. Why do people make these choices? What can be done to encourage them to make healthier choices instead?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
era of technology, health issues
such
as heart
diseases
Fix the agreement mistake
disease
show examples
, diabetes and more are become a phenomenon
due to
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
choices
. From my personal point of view, communities today are
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
busy with their own careers and
then
prefer to eat
fastfood
Correct your spelling
fast food
instead
.
This
essay will elaborate
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
reasons why
people
make these options and the best solutions to motivate society in pursuing a healthy life. In regard to the causes of
this
problem, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
nowadays are busy pursuing their job achievements. Since they are too busy with their daily tasks or goals, they don't have much time to prepare proper meals and
thus
tend to ignore
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
what type of ingredients
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they are consumed.
For example
,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
research has shown that the number of
fast food
Add a hyphen
fast-food
show examples
restaurants in Malaysia had increased in the past decades
due to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
quick services
where
Correct word choice
which
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
prevents
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
customers from waiting too long.
Thus
, there is no wonder why these types of businesses becoming the best
choices
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
society. Seeing the problem with a brighter mind, many solutions can be helpful to encourage
people
in making healthy
choices
. One of the ideal
solution
Change to a plural noun
solutions
show examples
is
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
establish
Change the verb form
establishing
show examples
a campaign regarding the impact of fast food industries on our physical health. Other than that, the media play an important role in reducing the amount of
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
of
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
of businesses from
influence
Replace the word
influencing
show examples
people
's behaviours or
choices
.
For instance
, the authorities can control the media from
infuencing
Correct your spelling
influencing
people
's
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
and
thighten
Correct your spelling
tighten
up the laws and regulations upon responsible parties.
Therefore
,
this
affort
Correct your spelling
effort
might reduce the percentage of patients
suffer
Change the form of the verb
suffering
show examples
from dangerous diseases in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society as a whole. In the nutshell, health problems are serious issues because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
cause harmful effects on humans. The best approaches to deal with it are to educate
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
about its damaging effects and
also
for the government to control the media from spreading unwanted information in relation to
unhealthy
Add an article
an unhealthy
show examples
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
.
Submitted by adilah070720 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: