Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

#people #music #cultures #ages

It is considered that

music

represents

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

various

culture

with no

age

limits. I completely agree with

this

opinion and think that

music

has no barriers to

combine

Wrong verb form

combining

show examples

the different

culture

Fix the agreement mistake

cultures

show examples

as well as

age

limit

Fix the agreement mistake

limits

show examples

Firstly

, I believe that most of the

music

brings the cultural value of

people

, and it represents the background of

nations

Therefore

, all

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

nations

have their own

music

desires.

For instance

, western countries have pop and rap

music

, and it is

identification

Correct article usage

an identification

show examples

of their own desires.

Also

, most of the

Indians

Replace the word

Indian

show examples

song has their own

identification

Replace the word

identity

show examples

and Sri Lankans obsess with their

music

cultures

Fix the agreement mistake

culture

show examples

Therefore

, most of the Indian songs have

translated

Add a missing verb

been translated

show examples

Change preposition

into

show examples

the Sinhala version.

This

is the evidence to say, there is no boundary between the

culture

Replace the word

cultural

show examples

changes in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

music

Moreover

music

depends on the taste of

people

, and it is not created for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

one

age

group. Because most of the

music

creates for the feel.

However

, from our

birth

Add a comma

,birth

show examples

every

people

listen to

music

based on their situation whether it is sad or happy.

Music

can heal the mind of

people

. As an example, all generations still listen to the

music

of well-known singer Michelle Jackson even after his death.

Therefore

music

cannot divide

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

age

. In conclusion, I strongly believe that

music

can connect the whole world together

as well as

it is the best way to bring the value of

culture

Therefore

people

should carry out the values to highlight their

nations

among

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

other

nations

Submitted by uddeepa.eashani96 on Tue Mar 21 2023

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some cultures think old people are of higher value than the youth, while other cultures value the youth more. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

You have borrowed something from your friend and it has got damaged. Write a letter to your friend. -apologize for damaging the product / stuff -explain what happened -say how are you going to fix the issue

In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages.

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.