IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some believe technology has made our lives too complex and the solution is to lead a simpler life without technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#believe #technology #lives #life
It is believed by
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
that our
lives
 have become more
perplex
Replace the word
perplexed
show examples
 with
technologic
Replace the word
technological
show examples
items
 and we can simplify these situations without technology. I mostly disagree with
this
 statement because the main aim
technological
Change preposition
of technological
show examples
 developments are for
people
 to facilitate their
lives
 and
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 absence of
technologic
Replace the word
technological
show examples
items
, our burden would have
more heavy
Replace the words
heavier
show examples
 against duties and nature.
Firstly
, opposite the view
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
statement
Add an article
the statement
show examples
, technology has been developing for weakening and reducing
people
’s responsibility in life.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 adaptation to new innovations is a compulsive process for some, these developments have been made for assisting to solve individuals’ issues in every part of their
lives
. To illustrate that,
smart phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
 have become a considerable assistance
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 our duties
such
 as communication, calculation and exploration
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 information.
People
 can figure out their many transitions easily by these
items
.
Apart from
this
, vehicles
such
 as cars, buses and trucks have taken an important role to ease transportation and civilization.
Thus
, these improvements are relieving our standards rather than being complex.
Secondly
, without these technologies,
people
’s circumstances would not be better than
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 recent
because
Correct pronoun usage
ones because
show examples
 individuals’
workload
Fix the agreement mistake
workloads
show examples
 would increase. In case of closing some systems and
items
,
people
 should do their automated
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
.
For example
, refrigerators
are not work
Change the verb form
do not work
show examples
 for freezing and
people
 maintain their foods in conventional ways.
In addition
,
people
 may deprive
from
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 communication
such
 as watching television and calling their relatives. In short, without
technologies
Fix the agreement mistake
technology
show examples
,
people
 would be in trouble in terms of dealing
out
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their work and communication. In conclusion, causes and examples can be multiplied with
this
 statement.
Although
 some technologies create bewildering problems
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
first times, in my opinion, they facilitate our
lives
 in their
each
Change the determiner
every
show examples
 advancement and without them, our
lives
 would become more complex. 45 dk.
Submitted by metehancakiroglu3435 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: