IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is better for children if the whole family including aunts, uncles and grandparents are involved in a child’s upbringing, rather than just their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is undoubtedly true that family plays an important role in a
child
Use synonyms
's growth. I would extremely support
to
Change preposition
apply
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the view that it is highly beneficial to a kid when he or she receives equal attention from all the family members of the house
instead
Linking Words
 of
parents
Use synonyms
 alone. As it not only helps the little one to develop
a
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apply
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good bonding with them
,
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apply
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 but
also
Linking Words
 helps the
child
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 to grow in a disciplined manner. Because it is overwhelming for the new
parents
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 to take up a fresh responsibility once the
child
Use synonyms
 is born, they would need an extra hand to
support
Correct pronoun usage
themsupport
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.
This
Linking Words
 is when the elders in the house can come forward and take care of the little
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
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 by spending time with them or doing
story telling
Correct your spelling
storytelling
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.
As a result
Linking Words
 of proper coordination among them, the
child
Use synonyms
 will be able to understand various
behavioral
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behavioural
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 aspects of life.
In addition
Linking Words
, when the living environment is
favorable
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favourable
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 to the kids, socializing would be at ease. They will feel well-secured to share their concerns with the closest person, even when their
parents
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 are away for a
while
Linking Words
. Like, if
parents
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 are held up with their work schedule on weekends, an uncle or aunt can take them out
for
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apply
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a shopping or long drive. To summarize, it is very essential for a
child
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 to grow
in
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up in
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 a joint family rather than a nuclear one simply because it helps a
child
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 to learn the importance of shared responsibilities and they try to possess these qualities for
their
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the
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 next generation.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • multigenerational households
  • emotional and social development
  • rounded upbringing
  • valuable life skills
  • cultural traditions
  • heritage preservation
  • broad support network
  • psychological health
  • excessive interference
  • practical support
  • child-rearing
  • deeply rooted tradition
  • cultural context
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