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Band 6.5

The use of smartphones is decreasing our collective intelligence because we are reliant on the technology not on our own minds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#smartphones #intelligence #technology #minds
In
this
 present scenario, technology has been used at all levels. It is a widely acknowledged fact that these days mobile phones are used more and more which reduces the intelligence of
people
. I completely agree with
this
 statement in the following paragraphs.  To commence with,
this
 trend has some reasons why individuals become less productive. The first and foremost point is that ordinary
people
 use mobile phones for every short
work
.
For instance
, nowadays, children use phones for maths sums
instead
 of using their brains which leads to a decrease in their mental ability to solve daily calculations.
Moreover
, in the business sector, they do not prefer manual
work
 which makes them lazy, and
people
 lose their minds
as well as
physical
Correct pronoun usage
their physical
show examples
 ability to do
work
.
Furthermore
, one more reason associated with
this
 statement is why they don't stay intelligent
due to
 using electronic gadgets.
Firstly
, the smartphone has a number of features which easily correct any
work
.
For example
, whenever a person writes any wrong spelling
then
 they can enjoy the auto-correct feature which reduces the cognitive ability of anyone.
Along with
 it,
people
 can do anything at one click and play games which not only become them less efficient for taking any decisions because they get a number of advice applications and social websites like Instagram and YouTube which provides knowledge and experience of elders than they totally depend on their thinking patterns rather than their own mind. In conclusion, I want to say that there are plenty of reasons show that overusing smartphones
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 leads to declining intelligence among them.
Submitted by gmanjeet57 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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