IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In the present day, whether
universities
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 contribute to a successful career rather than getting a
job
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 right away has sparked much debate. Some individuals assert that going to college produces more successful candidates,
whereas
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 many others argue that it is better to start
one
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's work journey straight after graduating from high school. Personally, I am in favour of the former perspective. A convincing argument can be made that
students
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 attending
universities
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 are more likely to become successful in their lives. First and foremost,
people
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 who choose
this
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 pathway aim to become specialists in certain fields. To explain
further
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, colleges provide opportunities for
one
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 to study in depth the subjects in which they are interested and for them to become experts in that pathway.
For example
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, if
people
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 want to pursue their goals, a
university
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 will help its
students
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 be well-prepared for upcoming events.
Moreover
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, colleges play an important role in helping individuals find out if they have made the right decision or not.
This
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 means that
students
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 have a chance to determine which pathways are right for them, using colleges as real-life simulations.
Lastly
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, there are
university
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 communities that create spaces for
students
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 who have common interests to meet each other and exchange ideas. Specifically,
this
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 helps many
people
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 build their own connections during
this
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 period, which could benefit their careers in
one
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 way or another. I admit that getting a
job
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 straight away does have several benefits.
In other words
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,
people
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 who pursue a career without continuing on an educational route will take less time to succeed because they start
this
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 journey earlier than others, and there are
also
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 groups of
people
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 who do not have the chance to study at
university
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due to
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 a lack of support but who have done a great
job
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 in their careers too because they have been learning from their past experiences. Even so,
this
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 way is tougher compared to the previous route because they cannot learn from
others'
Correct your spelling
other's
show examples
 mistakes, and no
one
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 can guide them unlike taking courses at
university
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, so they need to face real-life situations to be able to learn from their own experiences, as it is called "no pains, no gains."
Consequently
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, the benefits of getting a
job
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 straight after school are quite limited. In summary, I would concede that getting a
job
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 straight after school has some advantages. Despite that, attending
universities
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 certainly helps individuals pursue their future goals in a much better way.
Overall
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, I am convinced that
people
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 should apply to
universities
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.

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task achievement
Consider incorporating more specific examples or case studies to strengthen your arguments. Providing clear evidence can enhance the persuasive power of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to maintain the flow of your essay. This will make the argument more gradual and logical.
coherence cohesion
You successfully introduced the topic and provided a clear thesis statement that outlines your position.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points and restates your opinion, ensuring a cohesive end to your essay.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
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