IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries, governments spend large sums of money on the arts and this is supported by some taxpayers as worthwhile. Others, however, think that this money would be better spent on health and education. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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Art
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 is vital for some public
while
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health
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 and
education
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 industries play an important role in
this
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 modern era. But, some
people
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 claim that most of the
government
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 authorities exploit a lot of money on the arts and some local inhabitants support them. But other
people
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 argue that authorities must donate that money to the
education
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 and
health
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 sectors. I will elaborate my ideas with suitable examples regarding the given notion. To strengthen my point of view,
art
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 could boost the economic conditions of the country. First and foremost, if the
government
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 will spend plentiful money on
art
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then
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 it can increase the economy of the nations because a lot of
people
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 will visit those countries to see the artwork with their naked eyes as some
people
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 are very addicted to looking at the craft so they can relax their mind
as well as
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 they can gather heaps knowledge in their life about the different cultures.
For instance
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, in India, they have multiple
art
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 museums
also
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, they made various kinds of
art
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 on the walls that belong to the history of India and they
also
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 draw some popular persons dint of
this
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, masses could obtain enough information about their culture and, around one thousand of
people
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 come to see those
art
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 work from another corner of the world and India is getting around forty per cent of the profit from the artwork.
On the other hand
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, it is the top priority of the
government
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 to offer excellent medical and educational facilities to the public.
Firstly
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, if the administration will allocate funds for medical amenities
then
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 it could improve the
health
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 of the public as
people
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 can get good treatment for their diseases
as a result
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, they could stay healthy and they can live long for a long time. Apart from that, educational institutions could be improved by providing superior teachers and
government
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 can give grants to build more schools and colleges so that,
people
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 can fetch a great
education
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 and
then
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 can work good jobs owing to
this
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, the masses can live sedentary lifestyle
as well as
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, they will pay the tax to the
government
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 and it could assist to increase the economy
consequently
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, authorities can use that taxes on other facilities. To recapitulate, executives must use funds on medical and
education
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 facilities so that
people
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 can get good jobs and better
health
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as well as
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,
art
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 could not be ignored as it
also
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 put influence some folks and they can start their businesses to earn capital.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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