IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many young people are leaving their home in rural area to study or work in cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

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In
this
Linking Words
 era of globalisation, more youngsters have
leave
Change the verb form
left
show examples
 their home town to pursue their studies or work in the urban
areas
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. From my personal point of view, the main reasons are because cities provide
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
better facilities and job opportunities compared to
small
Add an article
a small
the small
show examples
town
Fix the agreement mistake
towns
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will
further
Linking Words
 elaborate
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 benefits and drawbacks of
such
Linking Words
situation
Correct article usage
a situation
show examples
. The first and foremost advantage of living in the
city
Use synonyms
 is that it offers
people
Use synonyms
 with
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of amenities which
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to develop their skills and knowledge.
Due to
Linking Words
 advances in technology and better learning equipment,
conurbantion
Correct your spelling
conurbation
conurbations
 gives an excellent education system.
For example
Linking Words
, in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
, universities are rarely found
due to
Linking Words
small
Correct article usage
the small
show examples
 numbers of
populations
Fix the agreement mistake
population
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
metropolis
Fix the agreement mistake
metropolia
show examples
 become
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
Use synonyms
areas
Fix the agreement mistake
area
show examples
 for postgraduates who
looking
Wrong verb form
look
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after
Change preposition
for
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 job vacancies, as
lot
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a lot
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 of companies or small businesses are
establish
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established
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 there.
Consequently
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, all these help to level up the standard of living and pursue the dream career of a person.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 some
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
show examples
 to
this
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 development. One of the cons is it gives economic downturn to
remote
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the remote
show examples
territory
Fix the agreement mistake
territories
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. As more
people
Use synonyms
 migrate to the
city
Use synonyms
, it will reduce the
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
 of
isolated
Add an article
the isolated
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 because limited numbers of skilled
people
Use synonyms
 contribute to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural's development. To cite an example, research has shown that the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 who suffer
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
 serious illness travel to
city
Use synonyms
areas
Use synonyms
bacause
Correct your spelling
because
 the medical equipment are modern and more professional doctors
available
Add a missing verb
are available
show examples
 for
chronical
Correct your spelling
chronic
 health issues.
Thus
Linking Words
, all these benefits
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
lead the rural communities
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to shift to the town. In the nutshell,
Use synonyms
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
 area provided
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
better job opportunities and facilities for
people
Use synonyms
 to pursue their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
 or studies.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 gives a negative
impacts
Fix the agreement mistake
impact
show examples
econmic
Correct your spelling
economic
 of
rural
Add an article
the rural
show examples
 side as more talented parties move to modern
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the authorities and communities should encourage society in
Add an article
an
show examples
effort to balance both
areas
Use synonyms
.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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