IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people prefer to get up early in the morning and start the day’s work. Others prefer to get up later in the day and work until late at night. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.

#people #day’s #work #night #support #choice
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Many
people
 argue that starting
work
 early in the morning and finishing early, saves a lot of
time
 for families and other household things, others believe that working longer hours at
night
time
 is beneficial for them to complete pending
work
. I believe working at
night
 and waking up late is better than starting
work
 early in the morning because at
night
people
 can complete their pending tasks in a peaceful and quiet environment. Certainly, waking up late brings many benefits to
people
. One of the most important benefits is a person cannot finish his personal
work
 in the daytime
due to
 his employment commitments.
For example
, many workers who
work
 in different fields do not have
time
 to finish their homework
work
such
 as lawn moves, shopping, and contacting families overseas
due to
 the
time
 gap. Another reason is many folks study part-
time
 and only have
time
 at
night
 to join classes and make their better careers.
Moreover
, those who start
work
 early in the morning and finish early have many benefits. A number of
people
 who believe in waking up early, start to
work
 early in the morning and after finishing the
work
 they do their household tasks. Another reason is that they have more opportunities to join part-
time
work
 in different companies to bring in extra money.
For instance
, in Sydney, tradies start
work
 early in the morning and finish early so they can utilise their spare
time
 for part-
time
 jobs and these
people
 are wealthier than a single job person. In conclusion, following the analysis, it is clear that both sides have negative and positive impacts, working early finish early spares more
time
 to give families and other tasks,
while
 late at
night
 finish, have more options to do business with overseas countries and study online.
Submitted by rbtech65 on

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task achievement
While you have provided a balanced view on both preferences, it would be beneficial to clearly state your side right at the introduction to give the reader a clear stance.
coherence cohesion
Ensure you avoid repetition and perhaps use varied vocabulary to maintain the reader’s interest.
task achievement
A few more specific examples would further strengthen your arguments and increase clarity.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes the points well and addresses both sides of the argument.
task achievement
You provided structured reasons for both preferences which shows a balanced argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and conclusion which nicely bookend your points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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