IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think that in the morden world we are more dependent on each other. Others argue that people have become more independent. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #morden #world
Although
 it is sometimes thought that
people
 are more dependable with each other in
this
 high-paced world, other
people
 believe that they become more independent. In my opinion, deciding whether to focus on dependent or independent should rely on the which prospect of
life
 for human beings. On the one hand, individuals who depend on others can do better development for themselves and for society.
In other words
, all
people
 have more knowledge in their own field. But, to fulfil their dream they must depend on other
people
.
For example
, If one person wants to run a company and wants it to famous in the job market, they must depend on salespersons and technical students.
Moreover
, they
are
Change the verb form
are also
show examples
also
 be able to be good at digital marketing.
Hence
, in some prospects of
life
people
 should depend on other
people
.
On the other hand
, it is often thought that
people
 become more alone in
this
 modern world.
In other words
,
People
 have no time for others because they have so many things to do in their
life
.
For example
, Today's
people
 have more facilities to solve their problems like Chat GPT and Google Search Engine.
This
 tool can chat with you like best friends and mostly solve your problems.
Additionally
,
People
 have so many applications from which they learn whatever they want.
Therefore
,
people
 are becoming more independent.
Finally
, in my view, both views are indispensable for an individual's
life
 but the focus should depend on their
life
 stage.
While
 company bosses need to depend on their employees, sales persons and their partners, younger children, who are now independent, rely on different types of AI tools and study applications. Individuals,
therefore
, need to be flexible as to when to depend on one over another. In conclusion, despite
people
 having different views, I believe that it would be better for younger
people
 support to the elder
people
 in
this
 modern world and elder
people
 should try to learn new technology in
this
 era.
Submitted by writing7 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!