Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals.
Some people believe that it is barbaric to confine
animals
to zoos
, while
others say that they guard wild animals
. From my point of view, under no circumstances can wild animals
stay here.
On the one hand, people have comprehensible reasons for thinking that zoos
are an acceptable option for protecting wild animals
. There are some species in nature that are the last
members of their species, and it can be dangerous for them to stay in nature. For instance
, polar bears are in danger because of climate change. As climate change causes polar bears to struggle to find food, less food means less energy. This
problem can affect their growth and reproduction. Zoos
have the necessary precautions to prevent such
situations.
On the other hand
, I would agree with those who believe zoos
are cruel and should be closed down. It is an obvious fact that zoos
are not natural places, and their territories are limited to wild animals
. Animals
cannot move around or behave naturally in these places. As a result
of this
, it can affect them physically negatively, and they can become depressed. For example
, lions are creatures that need a natural environment to live, and staying in zoos
leads to them becoming stressed. In addition
, there is evidence that a significant percentage of zoos
use special drugs to pacify animals
. These kinds of sedatives are detrimental to the health of animals
. Most zoos
use tranquilizers
on tigers to soothe them. In consequence, the bodies of tigers become completely numb.
In conclusion, Change the spelling
tranquillizers
although
some zoos
help endangered species preserve nature, many more of them affect wild animals
negatively. I believe that zoos
should be shut down for clear reasons, especially because they use drugs on animals
.Submitted by ayshan.ahmadova1 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, but it would benefit from more variety in connectives and better paragraphing to enhance its logical flow.
task achievement
You've addressed the task and presented your view. To improve, be sure to cover all parts of the task more fully by discussing both sides of the argument equally before giving your own opinion.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is adequate, but strive for a wider range of words and expressions to strengthen your arguments and make them more engaging.
grammatical range
You show a fair range of grammatical structures, yet it's important to reduce errors and employ more complex forms to achieve a higher score.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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