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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays, people are spending more time away form their homes, because they spend longer in their work place. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

In the 21st century, people are spending more
time
Use synonyms
 in the service, as compared to the
time
Use synonyms
 they spend at home.
Due to
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this
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 ,
situation
Add a comma
,situation
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 many positive and negative developments are taking place. We will discuss both of these situations in the essay. One of the major benefits of spending, higher working hours in the office is, the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of tasks completed by the person will be on the higher side.
This
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 will help him earn more money,
also
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 he will be able to fulfil his and his family's goals and wishes with that additional money.
For instance
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, in my
job
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,job
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 if I work for more than eight hours, I will get 20% extra money for every hour of
task
Add an article
the task
a task
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, which is really beneficial for my living.
In addition
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, performance can be done more efficiently as the environment is more supportive in the organization.
Therefore
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, these are the major advantages of spending a
longer
Replace the word
long
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time
Use synonyms
 in the office. The main disadvantage a person faces when he spends too much
time
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 in their job places is his family
life
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 may get affected, which is a negative development for his
life
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. The reason for
that is
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, he will not be able to get quality
time
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 with his parents, wife, and children as he will be much stressed
due to
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 the job load.
For example
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, as per the study, many women feel that they don't give much attention and
life
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 to their partner,
due to
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 which their relationship gets deteriorated.
Moreover
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, social problems
also
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 appear, between the family members because of the activity.
Therefore
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, if a person spends less
time
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 at home
then
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 above mention issues are created.
To conclude
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, there are advantages and disadvantages of spending less
time
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 in the house
however
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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particular issues can be resolved by balancing
life
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 between the office and home so that
life
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 can be spent happily.

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • professional growth
  • networking opportunities
  • work-life imbalance
  • career advancement
  • burnout
  • strained relationships
  • physical and mental health risks
  • dedication
  • expertise
  • collaboration
What to do next:
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