IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some parents think children's behavior should be strictly controlled, while other parents think children should be free to behave. Discuss both views and give examples.

#parents #children #behavior
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Children
Use synonyms
's behaviour is an important issue of Today's era, Some individuals are of the opinion That
children
Use synonyms
 should be free to do anything that they want to do,
whereas
Linking Words
 others opine that they must be strictly controlled.
However
Linking Words
, I believed it is the onus of
parents
Use synonyms
 to what
extend
Replace the word
extent
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 should be on the limit. On the one hand, those who are in the favour of giving much freedom to
children
Use synonyms
 give reasons as follows, that
children
Use synonyms
 should be free to choose what they want to do,
this
Linking Words
 will help them to be more creative and intelligent in later life as they will make crucial decisions and change the society,
for instance
Linking Words
, research has shown that
children
Use synonyms
 whose behaviour has not controlled by their
parents
Use synonyms
, became good leaders.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, those who advocate that
children
Use synonyms
's behaviour should be controlled give their opinion as follow,
children
Use synonyms
 are not much mature to do what they wish, and they will definitely do some activities which will harm
thierselfs
Correct your spelling
herself
 or other people.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they will focus on non-curriculum activities
such
Linking Words
 as watching many Television shows and playing video games
instead
Linking Words
 of studying or playing sports and they will divert from the right path. I believe that
children
Use synonyms
 must not be put strictly in control as they should be free in some activities.
However
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
 have the responsibility to have an eye always on their
children
Use synonyms
 to watch what they do, with whom they go and what they see on television.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I reiterate my opinion that it is the responsibility of their
parents
Use synonyms
 to what extent
children
Use synonyms
 must be controlled.
Submitted by dk057091 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: