The only way to improve safety of our roads is to give much stricter punishments on driving offences. To what extent do you agree with this idea?

The only way to improve the
safety
of our roads is to give much stricter punishments for driving
offences
. I partially agree with
this
idea because
this
trend provides both advantages and disadvantages and there are other solutions which are more suitable will be explained in the following paragraph. Improving the
safety
of road users is one of the most obvious requirements of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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governments. To give stricter punishments for driving
offences
.
This
,
hence
, positively affects not only road users but
also
pedestrians.
For instance
,
according to
a recent study from the Faculty of Laws, at Harvard University, 7 out of 10 U.S. citizens tend to drive safely if they are aware of penalties that are stricter.
Moreover
,
this
idea provides a negative effect that forces certain offenders to escape guilt and can cause habitual repeat
offences
On the other hand
, giving much stricter punishment is not the only way to improve the
safety
of road users.
Instead
of it, Governments should promote awareness about driving
offences
. To illustrate
this
, a survey recently conducted by BBC News revealed that one-fourths of American drivers willingly receive a ticket and pay fines when they violate
traffic
rules. Giving education about
traffic
rules
for
Change preposition
to
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commoners is one of the best ways to improve
safety
on the roads and sidewalks.
This
could lead to fewer
traffic
violations and fewer accidents.
To conclude
, giving stricter punishments not only positively affects citizens by leading them to be afraid of sanctions ,but it can
also
have a negative effect by forcing them to escape guilt. There are other solutions that are more suitable than
this
such
as promoting awareness and educating about
traffic
rules.
Submitted by amittawin on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or data to substantiate your claims, particularly when discussing the effectiveness of strict punishments and alternative solutions.
task achievement
Clarify the distinction between the pros and cons of stricter punishments for better clarity in argument presentation.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the logical flow between paragraphs by ensuring a smooth transition between discussing strict punishments and alternative methods.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph effectively supports the main argument with clear evidence and explanation, rather than general statements.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced view by acknowledging both advantages and disadvantages of stricter punishments.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present, framing the essay well.
coherence cohesion
The essay is divided into clear paragraphs that discuss different aspects of the topic, aiding readability.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • punitive measures
  • deterrence
  • driving offences
  • violating traffic laws
  • speeding
  • driving under the influence
  • stricter punishments
  • alternative measures
  • road infrastructure
  • vehicle safety features
  • public awareness campaigns
  • driving education programs
  • effectiveness of existing laws
  • consistent enforcement
  • comprehensive approach
  • automated traffic violation systems
  • ethical considerations
  • social inequality
  • disproportionately affect
  • fair treatment
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