Children these days spend a lot of time apart from their parents because in many homes, both parents work. What problems can be caused by this? What are some ways to support children?

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It is true that many children spend an increasing amount of time away from their relatives since it is common for both mothers and fathers to have jobs.
While
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this
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is a serious problem, it can be solved by improving the resources available to working parents. The main issue with adolescents being separated from their families for much of the time is that it can affect them mentally in a negative way.
In other words
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, being apart from providers can leave children feeling disconnected and unsure of their identity,
while
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also
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impeding their ability to effectively manage emotions
due to
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the absence of the crucial emotional support and guidance provided by mom and dad.
For example
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, when a child stays with a relative for an extended period because their providers are working abroad, they might experience a sense of detachment from their identity and find it challenging to control their emotions without the usual support and counselling from their procreators.
However
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, there are solutions to the problem. One of the ways to keep them exultant and secure is to assist their working begetter by establishing more facilities and after-school programmes. To be more specific, extracurricular activities often involve interactions with caring and supportive adults,
such
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as teachers, coaches, and mentors. These positive relationships can foster a sense of security and belonging for folks, as they feel valued and supported by adults outside of their immediate family.
For instance
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, in a musical course, a student
initially
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finds it challenging to play the guitar.
In contrast
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, with the encouragement and instruction provided by the instructors, the undergraduate gradually improves and gains confidence in their abilities. Through
this
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experience, he or she may feel a sense of attachment and accomplishment within the supportive environment of the program. In conclusion,
whereas
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working is critical for both mothers and fathers, it is crucial for them to recognize and address the potential challenges that may happen to their offspring.
Submitted by gautopsoi368 on

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Language
Try to use more varied vocabulary to avoid repetition. For instance, you mentioned 'providers' and 'procreators.' Sticking to simpler terms such as 'parents' could improve readability without losing meaning.
Task Response
Expand a bit more on your conclusion to reiterate key points and provide a stronger ending.
Task Response
The essay addresses the prompt well, discussing both problems and solutions.
Task Response
You provided specific examples to support your points, which adds depth to your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is clear, with each paragraph focusing on a single main idea.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay features a clear introduction and conclusion, framing your discussion effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Parental guidance
  • Behavioral problems
  • Mental health issues
  • Emotional support
  • Screen addiction
  • Academic performance
  • Parental supervision
  • Social skills development
  • Communication issues
  • Obesity
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