IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many ex-prisoners continue to commit crimes even after being punished for it. Why do you think this happens? How can we solve this problem?

#ex-prisoners #crimes
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The majority of formerly convicted individuals are likely to re-offend upon their return to society,
according to
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 the findings of a study.
This
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 essay will highlight several explanations for
this
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 occurrence and propose a range of feasible solutions. As a starting point, there is a broad range of reasons why serial
offenders
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 commit crimes.
Initially
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, prison terms for a majority of offences are disproportionate. Criminals who commit specific offences are frequently only imprisoned for a few months, which induces them to believe that the rewards of breaking laws exceed the potential consequences and incentivises them to resume the same crimes following their release.
Second,
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offenders
Use synonyms
 may find difficulty obtaining jobs and making a living, and
as a result
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, they will experience unemployment and poverty.
For instance
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, because of the stereotypes associated with individuals who have criminal records, potential employers will decide against interviewing or hiring them.
Thus
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, people who have previously been released from prison continue to be seen as failures and inevitably return to their previous routines, with some acquiring livelihood through illegal means
such
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 as burglary. There are,
however
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, several ways to mitigate the adverse effects. Those who violate the law should be punished severely. These penalties would serve as deterrents and warnings against committing crimes, and it is appropriate for
offenders
Use synonyms
 to suffer punishments proportional to their offences. As a solution to the problem of unemployment, the authorities can provide these convicts with vocational training and even suitable occupations, allowing them to earn respectable employment upon reintegration into society.
In addition
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, the government should promote the belief that
offenders
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 should be given a second chance to become law-abiding citizens and cultivate a more positive atmosphere in society. In conclusion, to prevent criminals from reoffending, we should strengthen crime deterrence and prepare prisoners for post-release jobs in order to reduce recidivism.
Submitted by songtingyan0927 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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