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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that the care of elderly people should be a priority of government spending. Others believe that government spending should focus more on young people, especially on their education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #care #priority #government #focus #education
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Nowadays, the elder and younger generations have opposite opinions about themselves. Obviously, they have some arguments because of respect and upbringing.
This
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 essay will discuss the above topic and different opinions. Personally, I think that there is should be a balance between the
government
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's focus on youth and elder people.
However
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, the
government
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 should focus on education, they should make it more affordable and available for students because these days it is too complicated for students to be on free education in a university. They try so hard to prepare for the exams and sometimes their attempts are not succeded,
thus
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 they can afford to study in a university for free.
Furthermore
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, I consider that the
government
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 should increase the
pension
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 for elder people. Many pensioners have a
too low
Add a hyphen
too-low
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pension
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 and if they do not have any family members they hardly survive on their
pension
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. Some old people were at war and they deserve an increasing
pension
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 so they could
finally
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 live peacefully
that is
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 why they defend their country and city. In conclusion, I want to say that the
government
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 should focus on both generations so no one could be left with nothing. The youth should be focused more on education and the elder generation should be focused on increasing
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pension
Fix the agreement mistake
pensions
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 and not on surviving
due to
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of
Change preposition
apply
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low
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pension
Fix the agreement mistake
pensions
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 and high
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
 for
universitys
Correct your spelling
universities
.
Submitted by eva.tokmakova12 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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