In many countries, people increasingly talk about money such as how much they earn or how much they pay for things in their daily conversations. Why? Is this a positive or negative trend?
One of the major issues that concern our society today is whether the fact that
people
talk constantly about money
in their daily routine is beneficial or not. Strong arguments exist for this
viewpoint, which implies that it is worth examining its perspective before reaching any conclusion.
To begin
with, in this
day and age, especially in countries with economic crises, people
care a lot about the amount of money
that they spend daily. For example
, when the wages are extremely low but the prices of products are high, citizens struggle to make ends meet. For
this
reason, I believe that their daily expenditures are important to them. Also
, another reason is the competition among people
. To be more precise, many individuals want to know the number of others' earnings only because of jealousy. In this
way, the issue of money
is always on the table.
However
, to my mind, this
trend could have only detrimental effects on an individual's life. From the moment that people
communicate so often how much they earn, subconsciously the only thing that matters to them is money
. For instance
, even if they have enough money
to spend on their entertainment, they will not do it because they think that it is not necessary. In this
way, they miss essential things from their lives, such
as any kind of entertainment which can be proved
beneficial for their well-being.
In conclusion, it is my firm belief that Verb problem
apply
people
need to keep private
their earnings and talk about more serious issues, like poverty and the ways through which they could help. So, Correct word choice
apply
people
do not end up being materialistic and care only about money
.Submitted by eirininikou109 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are clearly present and adequately address the task. The introduction should provide a clear overview of the main topic and the writer's perspective. The conclusion should summarise the main points and provide a clear recommendation or opinion.
task response
The essay provides a complete response to the task by addressing both aspects of the question and providing a clear opinion. The ideas are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, ensure that the focus is maintained on addressing the specific aspects of the task, such as the reasons for the trend and whether it is positive or negative.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the main points are supported with specific examples and evidence. Additionally, make sure to maintain a clear and logical structure throughout the essay, with appropriate use of linking words and cohesive devices.