IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In some countries, young
people
Use synonyms
 are encouraged to take a
gap
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 between completing high school and commencing university studies.
This
Linking Words
 practice offers both advantages and disadvantages for individuals contemplating
this
Linking Words
 decision.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the pros and cons of taking a
gap
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
. A
gap
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 allows young
people
Use synonyms
 to explore new experiences, cultures, and environments, fostering personal growth and development. During
this
Linking Words
 time, individuals can gain valuable life skills,
such
Linking Words
 as independence, adaptability, and problem-solving abilities. Exposure to different challenges and experiences outside the formal education system can lead to a deeper understanding of oneself and the world. A
gap
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 can serve as a refreshing break from the demands of formal education, enabling students to return to university with renewed focus and enthusiasm. Time away from studies can provide a chance to clarify academic goals and interests, leading to better decision-making regarding chosen fields of study and future
career
Use synonyms
 paths. During a
gap
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
, young
people
Use synonyms
 can explore potential
career
Use synonyms
 paths through internships, volunteer work, or part-time jobs.
Such
Linking Words
 experiences offer insights into different industries and job roles, helping students make more informed
career
Use synonyms
 choices.
Additionally
Linking Words
, gaining practical work experience can enhance job readiness and skills that may not be acquired through traditional education. Critics argue that taking a
gap
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 might lead to academic disengagement and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
delayed entry into the workforce.
However
Linking Words
, when appropriately planned and guided, a
gap
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 can serve as a valuable investment in personal and professional development, ultimately benefitting academic and
career
Use synonyms
 pursuits. In conclusion, a
gap
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 offers young
people
Use synonyms
 the opportunity for personal growth, academic focus, and
career
Use synonyms
 exploration.
Although
Linking Words
 there are potential drawbacks,
such
Linking Words
 as delayed academic progression, the advantages of taking a
gap
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 can significantly contribute to individuals' holistic development and future success. Proper planning, guidance, and reflection during the
gap
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 can maximize its benefits and position young
people
Use synonyms
 for fulfilling university studies and rewarding careers.
Submitted by saynah_ on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Avoid making redundant arguments. Instead, make each paragraph's main idea distinct and fully develop it before moving on to the next.
task achievement
Always make sure your arguments are properly supported by specific examples. General statements are insufficient and leave the reader unconvinced.
coherence cohesion
The introduction should be more engaging, and the conclusion should clearly summarize the entire argument, highlighting key points made throughout.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
What to do next:
Look at other essays: