Some people think that zoos are cruel and therefore should be closed, while others argue that zoos are useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #zoos #animals

•In our modern life, several human beings point out that

wildlife

parks

are brutal, and

thus

the government should be closed all of them. Other individuals emphasize that

zoos

are extremely worthwhile for wild

animals

to protect them from a lot of dangers, especially from perishing. From my point of view,

wildlife

parks

are the best way for wild beasts to protect. In

this

essay, I will discuss both points of view. •On the one hand, the majority of the community claim that

zoos

are one of the greatest ways for all creatures who are living in a forest and some kind of mountain areas. Because there are a lot of conditions in

zoos

and all zookeepers try to take care with kindness.

In addition

, there are wild creatures that are eating their food on a time. If they live in a forest, sometimes they have to starve and it can be caused them to decrease the number of wild

animals

. On top of that, many of them can be hunted and killed by hunters.

According to

the statistics, 45 per cent of

animals

who are living in forests and other places are killed by hunters who skin

animals

and hunt them to make clothes from their skins.

Therefore

many people say that

wildlife

parks

are extremely worthwhile for an animal to protect them from all dangers. •

On the other hand

, other humans emphasize that

zoos

are extremely savage for

animals

because zookeepers urge them to do many different types of difficult activities

such

as jumping over fire and walking on two legs to attract a large number of humans to visit their

wildlife

parks

and many human beings are interested in unique things like to

animals

who are walking on two legs and the like. They treat extremely rudely when they teach how to do that activity and they may not hit or feed

animals

Therefore

many humans think several

zoos

treat extraordinary brutality for

animals

. •In conclusion, in our up-to-date life, towns are developing day by day and there are built many

parks

, especially wild

parks

However

several individuals say that

zoos

are extremely inhuman to an animal

while

others claim that they are one of the best places for

animals

to protect themselves from a lot of dangers. In my opinion,

zoos

are the best.

Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on Fri Mar 24 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

388 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

animal welfare
conservation
captive breeding
habitat
ethical issues
zoochosis
endangered species
genetic diversity
reintroduction programs
wildlife education
sanctuary
natural living conditions
artificial environments
behavioral enrichment
ecosystem

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