Due to development and rapid expansion supermarkets in some countries, many small, local businesses are unable to compete. some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#development #expansion #supermarkets #countries #businesses #people #closure #business #death #communities

Nowadays,

supermarkets

are developing and increasing in number in many countries, for which businesses with few incomes are not able to go far.

For

this

reason, some people opine that if the local

businessmens

Correct your spelling

businessmen

show examples

faces

Change the verb form

face

show examples

loss in their work fields,

this

may cause a negative impact on everyone's life. I completely disagree with

this

statement and think that

supermarkets

are not essential to make our shopping more convenient.

Firstly

due to

the advancements in shopping malls, people can buy their necessary commodities from one place, which saves their precious time and energy.

For example

, many job holders

gets

Change the verb form

get

show examples

only one day off and in

this

small period

instead

of going to local

shops

Add a comma

,shops

show examples

they can save time by purchasing from

supermarkets

In addition

, if we talk about the amenities, local

shops

cannot provide half of the facilities that a shopping centre offers. In that case, why would individuals bother about the ending of local

shops

, as there are many special alternatives available for them

Change the punctuation

show examples

The

further

reason to differ with

this

view is the quality of

supermarkets

is incomparable to local ones. To illustrate

this

, the

shops

supermarkets

are surrounded by numerous

shops

with them they have to compete and to boost sales and obtain

customers

Change noun form

customers'

customer's

show examples

faith, the shopkeepers always try their best to supply the best quality products

with

Change preposition

show examples

a budget-friendly price.

For example

, Jamuna future park is a supermarket which is well-known for the quality of its products.

To conclude

, I strongly believe that

supermarkets

have brought a revolutionary development in the shopping sector and even if the local businesses become diminished, local people will not suffer because their needs can be fulfilled by

supermarkets

easily.

Submitted by englishpills077 on Fri Mar 24 2023

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Due to development and rapid expansion supermarkets in some countries, many small, local businesses are unable to compete. some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities (for example, helping at home or at work). Others believe that children should be free to enjoy their life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Historical objects in museums all over the world should be returned to their country of origin. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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People living in the twenty first century generally have a better quality of life than people who lived in previous centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?