it is important for people to take risks, both in their personal and professional life. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages

#people #risks #life

Some people believe that taking

risks

, both in terms of one’s private life and one’s working career, is advantageous

overall

. I totally agree with

this

idea,

although

risky behaviour can sometimes lead to unpleasant

consequense

Correct your spelling

consequences

consequence

, I firmly believe that the advantages of taking

risks

outweigh the drawback. On the one hand, taking

risks

can lead to negative physical injury and financial loss. In jobs related to sports

such

as running, skydiving,

racing

Correct word choice

and racing

show examples

. Those jobs all carry certain

risks

and if you are passionate about those risky jobs, you will force to

faced

Wrong verb form

face

show examples

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the risk of

life-threating

Correct your spelling

life-threatening

injuries and even death.

However

then

you will get to enjoy the adventure. In business,

high-risk

Add an article

the high-risk

a high-risk

show examples

investment

Fix the agreement mistake

investments

show examples

may either offer the chance of significant returns or devastating losses. In the latter case, the companies may lose

substantial

Add an article

a substantial

show examples

amount

Fix the agreement mistake

amounts

show examples

of money and even face

backruptcy

Correct your spelling

bankruptcy

On the other hand

, taking

Add an article

a risk

the risk

show examples

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

Correct the article-noun agreement

personal lives

a personal life

show examples

personal

Replace the word

person

show examples

lives can generate more

oppotunities

Correct your spelling

opportunities

. When you are able to accept

risks

you will have access to more types of work, so it is easier for you to step out of your comfort zone and discover yourself in a new light.

In other words

, when you dare to take

risks

, you will improve yourself, develop your thinking, and move faster to success.

This

envidenced

Correct your spelling

evidenced

in the case of Bill Gates who dropped out of Havard University, but later become the richest man in the world. Bill Gates is a prime example

for

Change preposition

show examples

people who tend to take

risks

can

Correct word choice

and can

show examples

achieve great results. In conclusion,the benefits of taking

risks

at work and in personal life are greater than the disadvantages. For work, you can earn a large amount of money from risky investments and for individuals, you will have new opportunities to discover yourself. and I think with those benefits, we should take the risk because maybe there's a good outcome after that.

Submitted by thuthu.anhbui on Sat Mar 25 2023

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

313 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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it is important for people to take risks, both in their personal and professional life. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages

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You recently took a trip to another city, and you had a plan to visit your friend who is living there. However, you couldn’t see him/her. Write a letter to your friend, and Apologize for not being able to meet. Give your reasons. Suggest how you can meet some other time.

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