Bullying is a big problem in many schools. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In the present time, it is true that one of the biggest issues in numerous schools is bullying.
This
essay will discuss the causes of the bullying issues and propose potential solutions to these problems.
To begin
with, the first cause is that
children
could be stressed by their environment and activities in
school
.
For example
, the stress could have occurred from academic stress in
school
such
as the pressure on academic achievement and homework which leads to the cause of unstable emotions resulting in bullying behaviours among classmates.
Moreover
,
due to
social status, teenagers tend to spend time being obsessed with acceptance from their society.
For instance
, the oldest
students
would like to be in higher social status than other
students
who are younger.
Consequently
, if they are not able to use other methods to be acceptable, they will start using the abused power to control other
children
in the
school
. To tackle these problems, the first solution is to address the problems of their parents to improve their relationship with the
children
.
For example
, they should not put pressure on their
children
, and they could be more helpful in
school
projects.
Hence
,
children
would be less stressed because they are surrounded by a supportive environment.
Furthermore
, teachers could seriously take action on the situation when
students
are bullied.
For instance
, they should set the punishments for the bullying.
Thus
, if the punishments were enforced, the
students
would obey the rules and would stop bullying. In conclusion, I strongly believe that the bullying issues could be solved by parents and teachers in
school
because they play important roles in taking care of the
children
so that schools would be safe places for everyone.
Submitted by kanittha.sma on

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task achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly states the intent of the essay and the conclusion effectively summarizes the points discussed.
task achievement
Incorporate a wider range of specific, detailed examples to support your points and provide greater depth to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating a clear progression of ideas throughout the essay and make more explicit connections between the causes and solutions presented.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices and transitional phrases to improve the flow of the essay and make the structure more apparent.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Bullying
  • Harassment
  • Intimidation
  • Diversity
  • Adolescent
  • Mimic
  • Aggressive behavior
  • Cyberbullying
  • Peer pressure
  • Social acceptance
  • Awareness
  • Conflict resolution
  • Peer mediation
  • Consequences
  • Respect
  • Kindness
  • Open communication
  • Vulnerable
  • Buddy system
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