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Band 5.5

Some people believe that it is important to spend a lot of money on family celebrations. While others think it is a waste of money. Discuss both views

#people #money #celebrations #waste
Some people nowadays spend a huge amount of
money
 on celebrating important family gatherings.
While
 others believe it is
total
Add an article
a total
show examples
 waste of financial resources, I do believe that others practice
this
 kind of belief for
a very valuable reasons
Correct the article-noun agreement
very valuable reasons
a very valuable reason
show examples
such
 as creating wonderful memories and building strong family ties. On the one hand, a family celebration is one way to make members of the family unite together.
For
this
 reason,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most family prepares in advance in order to make the celebrations memorable and successful and
this
 includes saving
money
 for the occasion's use. They allotted and budgeted their finances for the foreseeable expenses of the party.
For example
, in an extravagant wedding, the groom and the bride mostly spend their
money
 from their bank account in order to achieve their dream wedding. They are willing to invest and spend their hard-earned
money
 for the payment of the venue, church, event organizers and many more just to make the wedding memorable.
Thus
, spending
money
 on a big family celebration is inevitable but memorable.
On the other hand
, spending a huge amount of
money
 for some family events
such
 as birthdays, anniversaries and christening is totally a waste of income if that
money
 is from loans or other credit cards. Families should live within their means and not live just to impress society.
For instance
, celebrating birthdays in a fancy restaurant and inviting additional friends to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
witness
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that occasion even without or with a limited budget.
Hence
, people should be mindful of their living expenses to avoid debt and unnecessary expenses. In conclusion, spending for important family events is a good practice for some provided that it is in the budget
otherwise
 it is better to be practical.
Submitted by mercadolailanie on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cherish
  • nurture
  • strengthen
  • bond
  • create memories
  • enjoyment
  • sense of belonging
  • reconnect
  • unite
  • traditions
  • create traditions
  • financial burden
  • priorities
  • moderation
  • budget
  • frugal
  • extravagant
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