You are studying at a college which has very limited sports and leisure facilities for students. Write a letter to the principal. In your letter; outline the situation propose ways to improve this situation request a meeting to discuss this

#college #sports #leisure #facilities #students #outline #situation #request

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to bring to your attention

regarding

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the facilities

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

available in our college's

sports

center

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centre

show examples

Firstly

, I would like to explain

current

Add an article

the current

show examples

situation of our

sports

center

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centre

show examples

From

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show examples

last

Change the article

the last

show examples

couple of months, so many

sports

accessories were stolen from there.

Therefore

, many sporty students leave our

sport

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sports

show examples

clubs and

joins

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join

show examples

another

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

famous

sports

club.

As a result

, our college's

reputations

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reputation

show examples

is decreasing day by day. To add on

this

, there

are

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show examples

any

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

security

person

Fix the agreement mistake

persons

show examples

available

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apply

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there to protect.

Secondly

, I would have some solutions regarding

above

Correct article usage

the above

show examples

situations. One of them is to establish some locker systems in our

sports

clubs to put some expensive things.

Additionally

, we

also

establish CCTV

camera

Fix the agreement mistake

cameras

show examples

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apply

show examples

there, so we can see the live activities of it.

Moreover

, we need to hire

some body

Correct your spelling

somebody

show examples

builder security person who

take

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takes

show examples

care

our

Change preposition

of our

show examples

sports

club.

Finally

, I would like to meet you and discuss

about

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apply

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this

matter

further

. Can you please provide me

your

Add the preposition

with your

show examples

availability in

Correct article usage

the next

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week or so? I will request

you

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

for

in-person

Add an article

an in-person

the in-person

show examples

meeting if possible. I would appreciate it if you could look into

this

matter at your earliest convenience. Please do let me know if I can be of

further

assistance. Yours faithfully, Milav Soni

Submitted by writing7 on Sun Mar 26 2023

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

212 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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You are studying at a college which has very limited sports and leisure facilities for students. Write a letter to the principal. In your letter; outline the situation propose ways to improve this situation request a meeting to discuss this

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Money is important in most people’s lives. Although some people think it is more important than others. What do you feel are the right uses of money? What other factors are important for a good life? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.

The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally. What are the advantages and disadvantages to having one language in the world?

Some people like to spend their leisure time with their colleagues, while others prefer to keep their private life separate from their work life. Is it a good thing to spend leisure time with a colleague?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Today, many people don't know their neighbours in large city What problems does this cause what can be done about this