Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities (for example, helping at home or at work). Others believe that, outside of school, children should be free to enjoy their lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays there are plenty of outside activities for
children
to learn something new.Some people argue that
children
should be forced to do more work at home
while
others think that they should relax and have fun after school. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
children
would definitely benefit from having more responsibilities at home.
For example
, helping their parents with chores, cooking or even walking a pet can be an entertaining activity.
Additionally
, there are things they can do on special occasions,
such
as making decorations for Mothers’ Day or putting the candles
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
a family member’s birthday cake. They may
also
help clean up the house before guests are coming. It would be more useful if
children
had a choice of what they can do today and have a treat afterwards.
Consequently
,they will be aware of their own responsibilities and may become better people in future.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
most of those
children
may be more independent in their adulthood.
However
, being an adult is not an easy job and we can even regret not having an appropriate childhood.
That is
why it is crucial to understand that your
child
actually needs his own comfort zone. At the same
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
you should not avoid spending
this
time with your
child
as well ,because it is an amazing way to remind yourself how was it when you were a kid.Your
child
will definitely appreciate your effort in order to spend more time with
parents
Correct pronoun usage
your parents
show examples
. In conclusion,I think that there must be logical limits to the amount of work that
children
should do at home. It is an outstanding approach to
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
a
child
's sense of responsibility. They will absolutely benefit from that in future .
Submitted by tanya.kobuta93 on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • extra responsibilities
  • develop skills
  • life lessons
  • work ethic
  • sense of responsibility
  • contribute to
  • family
  • community
  • playtime
  • physical development
  • mental development
  • balance
  • enjoyment
  • guide
  • childhood
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