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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities (for example, helping at home or at work). Others believe that, outside of school, children should be free to enjoy their lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays there are plenty of outside activities for
children
Use synonyms
 to learn something new.Some people argue that
children
Use synonyms
 should be forced to do more work at home
while
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 others think that they should relax and have fun after school. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 would definitely benefit from having more responsibilities at home.
For example
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, helping their parents with chores, cooking or even walking a pet can be an entertaining activity.
Additionally
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, there are things they can do on special occasions,
such
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 as making decorations for Mothers’ Day or putting the candles
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a family member’s birthday cake. They may
also
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 help clean up the house before guests are coming. It would be more useful if
children
Use synonyms
 had a choice of what they can do today and have a treat afterwards.
Consequently
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,they will be aware of their own responsibilities and may become better people in future.
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Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 most of those
children
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 may be more independent in their adulthood.
However
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, being an adult is not an easy job and we can even regret not having an appropriate childhood.
That is
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 why it is crucial to understand that your
child
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 actually needs his own comfort zone. At the same
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
 you should not avoid spending
this
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 time with your
child
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 as well ,because it is an amazing way to remind yourself how was it when you were a kid.Your
child
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 will definitely appreciate your effort in order to spend more time with
parents
Correct pronoun usage
your parents
show examples
. In conclusion,I think that there must be logical limits to the amount of work that
children
Use synonyms
 should do at home. It is an outstanding approach to
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
 a
child
Use synonyms
's sense of responsibility. They will absolutely benefit from that in future .

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • extra responsibilities
  • develop skills
  • life lessons
  • work ethic
  • sense of responsibility
  • contribute to
  • family
  • community
  • playtime
  • physical development
  • mental development
  • balance
  • enjoyment
  • guide
  • childhood
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