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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Studying with a group of students in a classroom is more beneficial than learning online at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is claimed that learning together in a classroom setting is more favorable than online learning at home. In my opinion, I agree with the statement because of the hands-on learning and in-person
interaction
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 that only
offline
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 settings offer. On the one hand,
students
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 who are studying
offline
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 can learn the school materials more effectively through hands-on learning.
While
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 explaining to the
students
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 about the subject, teachers can
also
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 show various media that support the learning, especially in the science laboratory classroom. In Indonesia,
for example
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,
students
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 must exercise their knowledge in the laboratory setting to help them get to know the actual application.
This
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 immersive learning process is not possible in the online setting,
therefore
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offline
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 learning is better than online as it facilitates hands-on learning.
On the other hand
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, the
students
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 can get in-person
interaction
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 outside the class during their lunchtime.
While
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 consuming their lunch, the
students
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 can interact and discuss various topics together.
For instance
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, study shows that socializing
while
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 eating is a way to get people to open up and get close to each other.
Such
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 social experience is a crucial part of teenagers' emotional development.
Offline
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interaction
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 and bonding are not achievable in an online setting,
thus
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offline
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 learning settings are more favorable compared to online. In conclusion, I strongly agree with the notion that studying with a group of
students
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 in a classroom is superior rather than learning at home because it offers hands-on learning and in-person
interaction
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 that can not be facilitated during online learning settings.

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task achievement
Although your essay presents relevant points, there’s room to improve your task achievement by making sure you directly address the prompt more comprehensively. Consider exploring both sides of the argument, even if you choose one side to agree with. This will help provide a more balanced and thoroughly explained viewpoint.
coherence and cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, focus on the logical flow of your ideas. Start by introducing each paragraph with a clear topic sentence. Then, develop your ideas with more supportive evidence and explanatory sentences. Transitional phrases like 'furthermore', 'in addition', and 'conversely' can also help bridge ideas between sentences more smoothly.
task achievement
Back up your main points with more specific, real-world examples or statistics in order to deepen the support for your arguments. Doing so not only makes your argument more persuasive but also showcases your ability to connect abstract ideas with practical instances.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph serves a clear purpose in your essay structure. The introduction should set up the argument; body paragraphs should each address a single main idea, and the conclusion should summarize and restate your position without introducing new information.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Collaborative learning
  • Debate
  • Discipline
  • Engagement
  • Feedback loop
  • Peer support
  • Educational resources
  • Adaptive learning
  • Self-motivation
  • Independent study
  • Digital literacy
  • Virtual classroom
  • Accessibility
  • E-learning
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