In many countries, people increasingly talk about money such as how much they earn or how much they pay for things in their daily conversations. Why? Is this a positive or negative trend?

It is certainly true that
money
is a well-discussed subject throughout the world, Individuals talk about it on a daily basis. In
this
essay, I will discuss why, and I will provide evidence as to why
this
is a negative trend. One of the many reasons is that today we live in a world where
money
is essential, everything we see costs
money
,
for example
, if someone wants to buy a property, go on vacation, or even send his kids to university, he has to pay an amount of cash in order to achieve that.
Moreover
, nowadays in our society, it determines your status, so if you have got a big sum of
money
,
people
will respect you and you can easily make friends,
in contrast
, individuals don't have much respect for poor
people
and
also
, it's hard for them to make new friends, as being said,
money
is so important so that's why
people
talk so much about it. In my opinion,
this
is a negative trend, if human beings are measured by the sum of cash they own,
this
will have bad consequences on our community because based on
this
principle, citizens will no longer care about good manners and will become purely materialistic.
Furthermore
, relationships and friendships will not have the same value amongst individuals as they used to, so
instead
of asking about one's health or family, they only get interested in his career and ask about the things he purchased or his salary, and
as a result
,
people
will feel isolated and get the sense that they have no real friends.
To conclude
, as I have discussed in
this
essay,
people
talk about
money
for a variety of reasons, and in my point of view,
this
is a very bad trend.
Submitted by saberyouc on

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- Task Response: The essay partially addresses the prompt, discussing the reasons behind the increasing discussions about money. However, the task required a balanced discussion of both positive and negative aspects, which is lacking in the essay. It is important to ensure a thorough response to the prompt by considering all aspects of the given topic. - Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure is mostly clear, with a well-organized introduction and conclusion. However, the essay lacks in supporting the main points effectively. There is a need for clearer connections between ideas and more coherent progression throughout the essay. Ensure that supporting details are provided to strengthen the main points made in the essay.

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Summary
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumerism
  • materialism
  • financial transparency
  • societal taboos
  • economic fluctuations
  • financial management
  • financial literacy
  • purchasing decisions
  • wealth glorification
  • economic stratification
  • social comparison
  • peer pressure
  • income disparity
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