In many countries, people increasingly talk about money such as how much they earn or how much they pay for things in their daily conversations. Why? Is this a positive or negative trend?

#countries #people #money #conversations #trend

It is certainly true that

money

is a well-discussed subject throughout the world, Individuals talk about it on a daily basis. In

this

essay, I will discuss why, and I will provide evidence as to why

this

is a negative trend. One of the many reasons is that today we live in a world where

money

is essential, everything we see costs

money

for example

, if someone wants to buy a property, go on vacation, or even send his kids to university, he has to pay an amount of cash in order to achieve that.

Moreover

, nowadays in our society, it determines your status, so if you have got a big sum of

money

people

will respect you and you can easily make friends,

in contrast

, individuals don't have much respect for poor

people

and

also

, it's hard for them to make new friends, as being said,

money

is so important so that's why

people

talk so much about it. In my opinion,

this

is a negative trend, if human beings are measured by the sum of cash they own,

this

will have bad consequences on our community because based on

this

principle, citizens will no longer care about good manners and will become purely materialistic.

Furthermore

, relationships and friendships will not have the same value amongst individuals as they used to, so

instead

of asking about one's health or family, they only get interested in his career and ask about the things he purchased or his salary, and

as a result

people

will feel isolated and get the sense that they have no real friends.

To conclude

, as I have discussed in

this

essay,

people

talk about

money

for a variety of reasons, and in my point of view,

this

is a very bad trend.

Submitted by saberyouc on Sun Mar 26 2023

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- Task Response: The essay partially addresses the prompt, discussing the reasons behind the increasing discussions about money. However, the task required a balanced discussion of both positive and negative aspects, which is lacking in the essay. It is important to ensure a thorough response to the prompt by considering all aspects of the given topic. - Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure is mostly clear, with a well-organized introduction and conclusion. However, the essay lacks in supporting the main points effectively. There is a need for clearer connections between ideas and more coherent progression throughout the essay. Ensure that supporting details are provided to strengthen the main points made in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

296 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

consumerism
materialism
financial transparency
societal taboos
economic fluctuations
financial management
financial literacy
purchasing decisions
wealth glorification
economic stratification
social comparison
peer pressure
income disparity

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In many countries, people increasingly talk about money such as how much they earn or how much they pay for things in their daily conversations. Why? Is this a positive or negative trend?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think they have the right to use as much fresh water they want, but others believe government should control the use of freshwater as it is a limited resource.

Many people believe that formal “pen and paper” examinations are not the best method of assessing educational achievement. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.

Smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the world today. In the interest of public health, governments should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

TASK 2: Some people think the money spent on developing technology for space exploration is not justified. However, there are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe famous people's support towards international aid organizations draws the attention to problems, while others think celebrities make the problems less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.