IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Today's society provides people with various ways to lose weight, such as special diets or exercise regimes. Many people believe though that poor food and today's lifestyle should be addressed first.

#society #people #weight #diets #exercise #regimes #food #lifestyle #first
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many
people
 desire to be healthy and slim and
therefore
 have chosen to follow special
diets
 or exercise regimes so as not to become obese whilst others believe that
people
 should be better informed about today's unhealthy lifestyle and the poor
food
 they are consuming before
such
diets
 and regimes are taken into consideration. I firmly believe that the unhealthy lifestyle of many
people
 has to be addressed before thinking about ways of losing weight through special
diets
.
Firstly
, let us take a look at
people
's lifestyles it has become habitual to cook using
ingredients
 that have been pre-booked or to which chemicals have been added.
In addition
, several
people
 consume a lot of microwave and fast
food
, which are both easy to purchase and prepare, but are often fairly unhealthy.
Secondly
, it has become less popular to cook meals using fresh
ingredients
,
people
 consume chemicals, taste intensifiers, salt and sugar without knowing it. On top of that, by consuming
food
 that has been made by mass production, one no longer has to think largely about how a meal is prepared and can simply consume it without considering the
ingredients
.
On the other hand
, as a matter of , the fact that in order to lose weight effectively and over a long period of time, one has to learn to eat in a healthy way and to carry sport on a regular basis. Another point worth noting is learning how to cook with fresh
ingredients
 is an important aspect of eating in a healthy way and by doing so,
people
 can not only avoid eating
food
 but
also
 become more healthy.
For example
, in Germany,many individuals are carrying out sports
such
 as going jogging, lifting weights and eating
food
 healthily.
As a result
, they can lose weight and there is no chance that they will fall back into unhealthy habits if they give up on regular sports and consuming
food
 in a healthy way. In conclusion,
people
 can consume poor-quality
food
 on a regular basis and
this
 has to be addressed before thinking about
diets
 or exercise regimes. If
people
 could combine exercise with wholesome eating habits, they will be happier and healthier.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: