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Band 5

With growing populations in cities, more and more people live in homes with little or no outdoor space. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#populations #cities #people #homes #space #development
In recent years, many folks stay in enclosed or small balcony houses in cities where populations are so high. In my opinion,
although
 staying in a small
home
 is cheaper than another mode of accommodation, it has measurably adverse development for the community. A notable negative reason to live in
home
Add an article
the home
a home
show examples
, where no out spaces, is that small children are not aware of outdoor street games. They are always watching
a
Correct article usage
apply
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TV or Playing
a games
Correct the article-noun agreement
games
a game
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in
Change preposition
on
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 mobile phones.
Moreover
, they have no friends whom with they enjoy their time.
As a consequence
, these children
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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lack
of
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apply
show examples
some outer world knowledge, which is really needed to grow
further
.
Additionally
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
elder
people
 cannot spend their evening time with the same age of
people
 outside the
home
. Another point
consider
Fix the infinitive
to consider
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 is that
people
 who live in
small
Add an article
the small
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 house
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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lack
of
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apply
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natural resources.
In other words
, when they are sitting
in
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at
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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home
 they cannot take
sun light
Correct your spelling
sunlight
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 in the morning, which is really needed for their body.
Additionally
, they
even
Add a missing verb
do even
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 not take fresh air
due to
 some enclosed
architectures
Fix the agreement mistake
architecture
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 of
Correct article usage
the house
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house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
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. As a
results
Correct the article-noun agreement
result
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, they face some health problems in near future.
Therefore
,
people
 have to pay more electricity bills.
For instance
, if their houses are in
place
Add an article
a place
the place
show examples
 where no sunlight receive
then
 they should
on
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apply
show examples
Light
in
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apply
show examples
their house in
day
Add an article
the day
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 time. In conclusion, nowadays
people
 move to small flats, where no or minor outdoor space is available,
due to
 the increasing population in their cities.
As a result
,
people
 lack natural resources and cannot enjoy the outer atmosphere with family. I think
this
 development has markedly downsides for them.
Submitted by writing7 on

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban density
  • public transportation infrastructure
  • social interaction
  • community bonding
  • mental well-being
  • urban biodiversity
  • urban heat island effect
  • energy-efficient
  • affordable housing
  • cramped living conditions
  • innovative architecture
  • interior design
  • physical activity
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • quality of life
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