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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The maps below show the centre of a small town called Islip as it is now, and plans for its development.

The maps below show the centre of a small town called Islip as it is now, and plans for its development.
#maps #show #centre #town #islip #plans #development
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A glance at the map provided reveals the town
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
called
Add a missing verb
is called
show examples
Islip
Use synonyms
 as it is now and its future map for
improvement
Replace the word
improving
show examples
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 condition in the city
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
. As it is clear,Island will experience numerous changes in the future.First of all,in
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
plan
Add a comma
,plan
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 there are a handful of shops near the small main road,
that
Correct word choice
apply
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most of them will be relocated
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the new shopping
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
.And
also
Linking Words
 dual
carriegeway
Correct your spelling
carriageway
 will construct around the city
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
as well
Linking Words
as
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
bus
Add an article
the bus
a bus
show examples
 station and car park will add to the area to improve the condition of transportation in
Islip
Use synonyms
 town
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
.The main road will completely demolish in
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 plan.
According to
Linking Words
 the maps,
Islip
Use synonyms
 town
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 now has not
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 appropriate place just for pedestrians but it will
develope
Correct your spelling
develop
 in new
desighn
Correct your spelling
design
 of
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
,addition
show examples
park
Fix the agreement mistake
parks
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 that
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 in the
south-east
Correct your spelling
southeast
show examples
 of the plan will be smaller than now and new housing will build near the park and
also
Linking Words
 in
Correct article usage
the north-east
show examples
north-east
Correct your spelling
northeast
show examples
 of the map.One
further
Linking Words
 place
that is
Linking Words
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the maps is
school
Add an article
a school
the school
show examples
 that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will be intact in the next future design of
Islip
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by marzieh.kiani on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words islip, center with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Small town
  • Centre
  • Development
  • Maps
  • Plans
  • Introduce
  • Topic
  • Purpose
  • Essay
  • Description
  • Current
  • Key features
  • Facilities
  • Advantages
  • Positive aspects
  • Benefits
  • Proposed
  • Changes
  • Improvements
  • Suggested
  • Potential
  • Course of action
  • Summarize
  • Opinion
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