IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people think it does not matter if a professional sportsman or sportswoman misbehaves on or off the field, as long as they play well. What is your opinion about this?

#people #matter #sportsman #sportswoman #misbehaves #field
In recent decades, professional athletes often misbehave in a stadium or a public space. Whether their
misbehaviours
 based on high-performance records should be understood or not has been hotly debated among people. I strongly agree with the view that professional athletes must behave well as they are being watched by numerous individuals, including children.
This
 essay will discuss
this
 issue by using examples to support ideas and demonstrate points. On the one hand, as professional athletes are generally most teenagers’ role models, their
misbehaviours
 will bring negative effects on children’s growth by allowing them to mimic the actions.
In addition
,
misbehaviours
 during a field can affect social conflicts between nations.
For example
, one of
Japanese
Add an article
the Japanese
show examples
 players stimulated South Korea’s anger by showing up a red flag which was disrespectful to them during a football game, and it became international tension between the two nations.
Therefore
, it is critical for them to behave well which is regarded as professionalism.
On the other hand
, some people worry about a tendency in which their
misbehaviours
 ought to be acceptable and understandable because of their social contribution
such
 as economic growth or donations.
Furthermore
, it is just a mere performance in order to sustain their own popularity by attracting their fans with strong actions.
For instance
, if they perform well by winning a game, their own and the nation’s fame will be enhanced with a winning prize which somehow will be returned to a community as social responsibility.
Therefore
, their
misbehaviours
 can be accepted as performances if they are not illegal. In conclusion, even though they play well, they have to become an example by behaving well
due to
 their negative impacts
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 society.
Submitted by mix5777 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • role model
  • influence
  • integrity
  • tarnish
  • reputation
  • consequences
  • inappropriate actions
  • morale
  • unity
  • negative environment
  • sponsorship
  • brand image
  • ethical considerations
  • athletic performance
  • respect
  • fairness
  • values
  • behavior
  • impact
  • public attitudes
What to do next:
Look at other essays: