In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative situation?

In a number of countries, it is imperative for people to own a household rather than have a long-term rental.
Such
a privilege of owning an apartment provides an essential convenience in the individual’s future,
however
,
this
creates rather disadvantageous than advantageous circumstances. First of all, it is worth considering, that the following wish of being a homeowner is highly appreciated within a number of nations,
consequently
, their citizens have been raised with the strong perception that life would not be complete without being a landlord. Indeed, private property would secure some sort of independence, and confidence and the inhabitant would feel settled in the household and,
moreover
, live in general. Another thing to consider is the negative impact of these unreasonable persuasions.
Due to
the high property demand and constantly rising overpopulation, year-by-year it is more complicated to find an affordable place to reside.
For instance
, the majority of citizens complain about ongoing
increase
Fix the agreement mistake
increases
show examples
in household charges, which affects mostly overseas young buyers. Unfortunately, the sole available option to make owning a home possible is a mortgage, which engages you for monthly contributions and regular mental pressure for the following 30 years and to be captured in the one property for all
this
period. The renting options allow you to choose any country, town, area
and
Correct word choice
or
show examples
street at any time with a variety of alternatives for any budget. Taking everything into consideration, in my humble opinion, we could simplify the house-owning need by familiarizing adolescents with other profitable renting options,
furthermore
preventing a huge housing crisis for future generations.
Submitted by yulia_regulich on

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task achievement
Your essay has addressed the question well and provided a complete response by exploring both reasons behind the preference for homeownership and the potential drawbacks. However, try to provide more relevant and specific examples to substantiate your points, as this will strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is mostly clear and well-organized, there are occasional awkward phrasings and some minor grammatical errors that can affect the clarity. Consider revisiting your sentences to ensure they're concise and clear. Additional proofreading and practice can help reduce these issues.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps the reader follow your argument easily.
task achievement
You have effectively highlighted the reasons behind the emphasis on homeownership in certain cultures and also discussed both positive and negative aspects. This demonstrates your ability to tackle multiple facets of a topic.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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