In many countries, people live longer and longer. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today's society,
People
Use synonyms
want to celebrate more birthdays in their
life
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
living more
life
Use synonyms
is thought by some to be a good experience for them, other
folk
Change the wording
folks
show examples
think that it can be detrimental to
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
. In my opinion, I think that
this
Linking Words
development can have more benefits for
people
Use synonyms
compared to any disadvantages it might bring. Admittedly, there are some minor disadvantages of living more by
crowd
Add an article
the crowd
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, at the age
after
Change preposition
of
show examples
eighty
people
Use synonyms
's medical
expanses
Correct your spelling
expenses
show examples
are increase
Change the verb form
are increased
are increasing
show examples
year by year.
Therefore
Linking Words
, A dependent child cannot enjoy their hobby and stop to spend money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
extra things.
For Example
Linking Words
, if
elder
Correct article usage
the elder
show examples
community suffer from
dangerous
Add an article
a dangerous
show examples
disease like blood problem
then
Linking Words
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
might change their blood
evey
Correct your spelling
every
six months.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in some household, the elder public
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
old-fashioned behaviour.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
their
Change the word
the
show examples
below generations are not giving too much
attentions
Correct your spelling
attention
show examples
to them.
As a result
Linking Words
, they decided to leave their home and buy
some
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
new
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, despite the problems above, I believe
this
Linking Words
development could bring more benefits to society. One important benefit is that current generations gain knowledge of old culture and maintain and pass over it to
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
generation.
For example
Linking Words
, today's
people
Use synonyms
learn how to celebrate Diwali from elder
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
and pass
this
Linking Words
knowledge to future generations. As a
consequences
Correct the article-noun agreement
consequence
show examples
, their culture
remain
Change the verb form
remains
show examples
live
Correct your spelling
alive
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, someone
can
Correct pronoun usage
who can
show examples
get love and care from older
people
Use synonyms
is unforgettable.
For example
Linking Words
, if children
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
suffer from illness
then
Linking Words
elder
Correct article usage
the elder
show examples
community take care
them
Change preposition
of them
show examples
so correctly. And I think
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
it is
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
medicine for them to recover instantly. In Conclusion, in some countries,
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
are eating healthy food and doing exercise regularly.
As a result
Linking Words
, they are living more numbers of years.
Moreover
Linking Words
, some folks believe that they are
burden
Add an article
the burden
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
their
life
Use synonyms
. I think elder nation are base of our
life
Use synonyms
and they are
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
source of learning
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
aspect of
life
Use synonyms
, so
this
Linking Words
development far
outweigh
Change the verb form
outweighs
show examples
any of
minor
Correct article usage
the minor
show examples
disadvantages it has.
Submitted by writing7 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: