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Writing Samples
Band 7

Weddings are getting bigger and more expensive. What is the reason for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

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To demonstrate one's wealth and upgrade their social standing, most people often spend exorbitant sums of
money
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 on major events
such
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 as
weddings
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.
Nevertheless
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,
this
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 development has a detrimental effect on the financial conditions of many families and leads to food waste. There are two primary reasons why many individuals are willing to spend a considerable amount of
money
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 on preparing lavish
weddings
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. The first element of
this
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 propensity is the desire to showcase one's affluence. It is undeniable that the majority of people have a greater sense of pride and contentment when others express admiration for their material possessions and the
money
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 allocated for lavish
weddings
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.
In addition
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, a family's social position is often determined by how they plan their children's
weddings
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 in modern society.
Therefore
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, if the party is grand and magnificent, the host's social status will be significantly upgraded.
Consequently
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, there would be a rise in the number of families trying to organize the most sumptuous
weddings
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 possible. It is undeniable that lavish
weddings
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 are detrimental for a number of reasons related to the unnecessary waste of
money
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 and other resources. Chief among these is that many families make an effort to demonstrate their financial abundance, which forces them to spend an excessive amount of funds on
such
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 extravagant parties.
As a consequence
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, these individuals may live in a period of debt or struggle to make up the
money
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 spent on those luxurious events. The second concern is that an enormous quantity of resources,
such
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 as food and flowers, would be wasted.
For example
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, if a restaurant hosts a wedding, it is apparent that a large number of leftovers are discarded after the event is over because they cannot be reused. In conclusion, even though the
tendency
Correct article usage
a tendency
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of organizing
Change preposition
to organize
show examples
 costly marriages as a means of demonstrating a person's opulence and promoting their social status, I hold the belief that
this
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 can lead to a range of adverse effects on people's financial conditions
as well as
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 other resources.

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coherence cohesion
To strengthen cohesion, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Consider using linking words or phrases to guide the reader.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points, which will add depth and demonstrate a thorough understanding.
task achievement
Work on making each main point clearer by dedicating separate paragraphs to distinct ideas to enhance clarity and structure.
coherence cohesion
The introduction is clear and provides a good outline of what the essay will discuss.
coherence cohesion
The essay concludes effectively by summarizing your opinions and the main points discussed.
task achievement
You addressed both parts of the task, discussing the reasons for bigger, expensive weddings and evaluating whether it is a positive or negative development.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • lavish
  • extravagant
  • nuptials
  • matrimony
  • social status
  • opulence
  • milestone
  • financial leverage
  • debt
  • peer pressure
  • consumerism
  • showcase event
  • ceremonial splendor
  • bridal extravaganza
  • market forces
  • commercialization
  • budgeting
  • social comparison
  • destinal wedding
  • event planning
  • wedding vendors
  • loan
  • prestige
  • economic impact
  • mandatory spending
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