IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. Others, however, believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Why?

#people #children #school #home #six #seven #years
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued that will be beneficial for young
children
Use synonyms
 to stay at home until they reach the
age
Use synonyms
 of six or seven.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
parents
Use synonyms
 think they should start
school
Use synonyms
 as soon as they are able. In my opinion ,I agree
children
Use synonyms
 would find it beneficial to start
school
Use synonyms
 from an early
age
Use synonyms
. First of all,
parents
Use synonyms
 usually have to work to support the
children
Use synonyms
 which will not be possible if they were at home. For
this
Linking Words
 , the reason is important to have the option for
children
Use synonyms
 can go to preschool places, so
parents
Use synonyms
 are able to go to their workplace.
For instance
Linking Words
, some workplaces have adapted their place to have some nurseries in the work environment which support their employees and their
children
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in
schools
Add a comma
,schools
show examples
 they will learn to socialise with different
children
Use synonyms
's backgrounds which help them with their social skills for the future.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
preschool
school
Use synonyms
 set ups usually have lunch with all the kids of the same
age
Use synonyms
 and they can learn things like sharing and communicating with the other child.
For instance
Linking Words
, a study from Oxford University shows
children
Use synonyms
 who go to nursery
school
Use synonyms
 from a young ,
age
Use synonyms
 have outstanding social interaction when they are adults. In conclusion, In these days exist different points of view on how to look after young
children
Use synonyms
 some believe they need to go to
school
Use synonyms
 early days and others think is better to stay at home until they are older enough. In my ,opinion I believe
children
Use synonyms
 should go to
school
Use synonyms
 from young
age
Use synonyms
 because
parents
Use synonyms
 need to go to their workplace and for learning different social skills.
Submitted by usoncata on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: