IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

more and more young people are commiting crimes what do you think are the reasons ? can you offer some solutions?

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youngsters are easily impacted by the leaders of gangs
due to
Linking Words
 lack of supervision from their
parents
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 they
incorporated
Add a missing verb
are incorporated
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 in the implementation of crimes. I think that
parents
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 play a vital role in directing their children to the right pathway by establishing a strong
relation
Replace the word
relationship
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 with them.
To begin
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 with,
gang's
Change noun form
gang
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movies
Use synonyms
 were displayed on different platforms.
In other words
Linking Words
, these films will help in raising crime rates among youth, especially if the major actors in
movies
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 participate in murdering somebody, kids will emulate them in reality.
For instance
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, the star Ahmed El Saqqa who acts in many violent
movies
Use synonyms
 and plays the villain role
then
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 the children will imitate him
due to
Linking Words
 their lack of consciousness.
this
Linking Words
 example shows that uncensored
movies
Use synonyms
 could be a dilemma in bringing up kids.
on the other hand
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, the awareness campaign should be launched
by
Change preposition
through
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censorships
Fix the agreement mistake
censorship
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 and
parents
Use synonyms
 should deal with their children smoothly.
In other words
Linking Words
, emotional containment could be a permanent solution for bad behaviour
sepecifically
Correct your spelling
specifically
 when it comes from their
parents
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.
For example
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,
parents
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 could take training which
teach
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teaches
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 them the way of treatment and rules of
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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 modification.
In addition
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, censorships could take remedial actions in terms of
agressive
Correct your spelling
aggressive
movies
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 and try to obscure
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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. What can be said is that
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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 environment was the best solution for evil deeds. In conclusion ,
after
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this
Linking Words
 essay has shown the influence of uncensored content and how it could be a strategy
in
Change preposition
for
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 cultivating violence
among
Change preposition
in
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 society, it can be said that taking precautions will cease crime rates. I assume that lawmakers should impose strict rules to face
the
Correct article usage
apply
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gangs.

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