IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays, the media focuses on problems and emergencies rather than positive developments. Some people think it is harmful to individuals and to society. To what extent do you agree?

#media #emergencies #developments #people #individuals #society
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Curantly
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Currently
, mass
media
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 concentrates on issues and
urgant
Correct your spelling
urgent
 cases
instead
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 of positive growth. Certain individuals believe that it is damaging to the people and social environment. Optimistic information can prevent
from
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apply
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bad consequences and reduce the stress level in society. In my opinion, publishing should focus on
the
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apply
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beneficial improvements rather than on
drawbacks
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the drawbacks
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. On the one hand, honing
on
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in on
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 global issues can prepare you for
the
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apply
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bad scenarios it still can cause a lot of stress and misunderstanding. Focusing on the drawbacks only makes our
existences
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existence
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 worthless. You will think that you can not do anything to help the world.
In
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addition
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,addition
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media
Use synonyms
 do
such
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 things to manipulate us. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, nowadays different news publish articles that only concentrate on the dismissive data to control us.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, focalizing on positive info can improve your
well being
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well-being
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. Surrounding yourself with helpful and hopeful data can make
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society better because they will not concentrate on the drawback and see the world only in black.
Hence
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, positive news
make
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makes
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 us happier we should focus the
media
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 on hopeful cases.
For example
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, when people started seeing the positive effect of
coronovirus
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coronavirus
 during the pandemic situation they
argeed
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agreed
argued
 that staying at home make
th
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the
 environment cleaner. They saw that
pollusion
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pollution
 rates decreased and animals began to return to their natural habitat. In conclusion, I want to say that mass
media
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 should focus on the benefits more than on the drawbacks. It will not cause harm to the people and society itself.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it will make individuals less stressed and depressed.
Submitted by salta.Zh on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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