Nowadays, the media focuses on problems and emergencies rather than positive developments. Some people think it is harmful to individuals and to society. To what extent do you agree?

#media #emergencies #developments #people #individuals #society

Curantly

Correct your spelling

Currently

, mass

media

concentrates on issues and

urgant

Correct your spelling

urgent

cases

instead

of positive growth. Certain individuals believe that it is damaging to the people and social environment. Optimistic information can prevent

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

bad consequences and reduce the stress level in society. In my opinion, publishing should focus on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

beneficial improvements rather than on

drawbacks

Correct article usage

the drawbacks

show examples

. On the one hand, honing

Change preposition

in on

show examples

global issues can prepare you for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

bad scenarios it still can cause a lot of stress and misunderstanding. Focusing on the drawbacks only makes our

existences

Fix the agreement mistake

existence

show examples

worthless. You will think that you can not do anything to help the world.

addition

Add a comma

,addition

show examples

media

such

things to manipulate us. To illustrate

this

, nowadays different news publish articles that only concentrate on the dismissive data to control us.

On the other hand

, focalizing on positive info can improve your

well being

Add a hyphen

well-being

show examples

. Surrounding yourself with helpful and hopeful data can make

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society better because they will not concentrate on the drawback and see the world only in black.

Hence

, positive news

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

us happier we should focus the

media

on hopeful cases.

For example

, when people started seeing the positive effect of

coronovirus

Correct your spelling

coronavirus

during the pandemic situation they

argeed

Correct your spelling

agreed

argued

that staying at home make

Correct your spelling

the

environment cleaner. They saw that

pollusion

Correct your spelling

pollution

rates decreased and animals began to return to their natural habitat. In conclusion, I want to say that mass

media

should focus on the benefits more than on the drawbacks. It will not cause harm to the people and society itself.

Consequently

, it will make individuals less stressed and depressed.

Submitted by salta.Zh on Tue Mar 28 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

261 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, the media focuses on problems and emergencies rather than positive developments. Some people think it is harmful to individuals and to society. To what extent do you agree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Economic growth is one way to measure a country’s success, but what else should we look at? Which do you think is the most important?

Working from home benefits workers and not employers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people argue that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others believe that it is better to try and improve such situations.

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.